Entries from January 2007 ↓

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Are you wondering where in the world you can meet a great guy right now?

And do you ever wonder what it is that’s keeping you from meeting the one for you?

Is it timing?

Is it your old boyfriend holding you back?

Is it your life and your routine that’s making you miss him?

Or is it something you’ve done in the past, or something you’re doing wrong now?

If you’ve ever thought about these, then tell me something honestly…

Have you ever felt frustrated and wondered-

“How come there just aren’t any great men out there?”

If so, then I’ve got some good news… and some real-world tips that are sure to help you find and ATTRACT a great guy.

To get started, here’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately…

How come all the available men out there who are actually single and available don’t seem interested in being with what I’ll call “real women”?

Women like YOU.

Instead… even the smartest, most handsome and successful men are constantly going for women who seem to have little or nothing to offer them.

And not only that, some men go for women who might “look good”, but who act CRAZY and are a total mess inside.

What’s the deal here?

Do guys really NOT WANT women of SUBSTANCE?

Women who are actually MATURE and INTERESTING, and who can bring depth to their life?

Are men ATTRACTED to “bad” women?

And are men really this blind and “short-sighted”?

The EASY answer is yes… men are all screwed up and shallow, there’s nothing you can do about it, and keep looking for that one in a million guy who is different.

But as a good friend of mine told me a while back - When you live the EASY WAY, life is HARD. But when you live the HARD WAY, life is EASY.

This couldn’t be more true.

So let me ask again…

Are men really this short-sighted and messed up?

Or is SOMETHING ELSE going on here that you’re just not seeing yet?

If you’re thinking ahead, then you might already get where I’m going with this…

I’m going to suggest to you that something else IS going on here. See, if the world was “fair”, then the best woman would get the best man. But in case you haven’t noticed, it doesn’t seem to work this way.

If you’re the “better person”, a man isn’t going to see the tall leggy blonde standing next to you with the short mini-skirt on who’s trying to get the attention of every man in the room… and then walk up to her, elbow her aside, look you in the eyes and say,

“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for a great woman and I could tell you were a quality person from across the room. Let’s get to know each other and talk.”

Sure, that would be great if this ever happened, and it seems “fair”… but this is unfortunately NOT how the world and men actually work.

What would be more likely to happen in this bar scenario is that-

-the blonde at the bar would probably grab the good guy before you could get a word in

-she’d proceed to flirt shamelessly with him and have to be the only woman to have his attention

-the guy wouldn’t even notice you until the other woman unknowingly started spilling her drink all over you and the man would see this and feel kind of sorry for you but not really care or notice you

Ouch!

If you’ve been around the block a few times, then you already know that When it comes to men, dating, and relationships the world is generally pretty UNFAIR.

Here’s the thing…

If you’ve ever had an experience with a man like the bar scenario above then I feel for you.

I know it SUCKS.

By the way, if you’d like to get to THE ROOT CAUSE of what makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED to a woman in the first place, and why a man chooses one woman and not another, then I can quickly help you understand what’s going on here.

If you learn how a man’s “attraction mechanism” really works on a PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL level, then you’ll be able to create the strong feelings of ATTRACTION inside a man at any time. WHY YOU HAVEN’T MET THE RIGHT GUY

Earlier I asked you if you’ve ever wondered why there aren’t any good men out there.

This was kind of a trick question.

See… if you’ve wondered this, and you feel this way, then I’m going to suggest to you that there’s something deeper going on for you.

Something deeper than the fact that you haven’t crossed paths with a “hottie” who has his act together.

What I’m saying is that odds are you have a few critical ways of thinking and behaving in your own life that are holding you back right now and keeping you from CREATING the right situation where you’ll naturally end up meeting and attracting a great guy.

Now, how do I know all this?

Obviously I don’t know everything, but I do know a few important things about how us humans work… and about you as a woman and how men think and respond to you.

If you have the kind of BELIEF inside your head that’s telling you there are no good men out there for you… then something amazing and powerful is probably happening in your life-

Your mind is finding a way to make this sad situation true for you.

Think about it for a second…

Now, I’m telling you this because I believe that if you can recognize the things that are holding you back, like your own limiting beliefs, and then you can take steps to move past them… you’ll quickly get past the old patterns and situations in your love life.

And then you’ll be able to get to a new place where you’ll no longer spend your time wondering why you don’t have a man in your life… and you’ll naturally start finding, meeting, and attracting great guys wherever you go.

The Most Common & Destructive Beliefs About Men And Dating Women Hold In Their Minds…

One of the most common and destructive beliefs women hold in their minds about men and dating is something it’s taken me years to start to see and understand.

If I had to sum it up in a sentence, it would go something like, “When I meet the right guy, I won’t need to date and can skip right to a real relationship with him.”

Let me explain why this belief is so common and counterproductive when it comes to connecting with a man and growing into a great relationship.

See, the women who have this belief also carry another kind of “secret belief” inside them that is even deeper.

What’s this belief?

It’s that everything about meeting a man, getting to know him, and growing into a relationship that feels UNCERTAIN is unnecessary and should go away.

Or to put it another way, aside from those perfect situations where a man is head over heels into you and begging you for a committed relationship - DATING IS A DRAG.

Give me a silent nod if you’ve ever wished you could just skip the hassle of “dating”.

Well, there are a few critical things you need to know about dating if you want to be able to be with a man and move into a more serious relationship:

1. Dating Is By Definition UNCERTAIN

When you meet a man and you’re both getting to know each other, there’s almost no way you can predict what he is going to do or say until you get to know and understand him a little better.

Sure, you’ve got your intuition, and the power of ASKING QUESTIONS on your side… but even these can’t undo the uncertainty that comes with dating.

For some women, this “not knowing” makes them feel so vulnerable and out of control that they literally become filled with anxiety and worry and keep playing over all the angles of what’s happening in their minds until they start to drive themselves a little crazy.

And this happens even more with women who have been hurt in the past and haven’t been able to truly move past the pain they felt and the fear that has become associated with being close to a man.

The reality is, if you’re not able to deal with the uncertainty that is dating and getting to know a man, and you let it bother you too much on a mental and emotional level, you’re going to ruin something that could have been great with a guy.

2. UNCERTAINTY can and must work in your favor if you’re going to successfully date a man and grow into a more serious relationship with him

You might not have thought about it, but UNCERTAINTY, as much as it can feel bad, can be a great thing when you’re just getting to know a man.

What I mean is that the man you’re with, whether or not he will ever show you or admit it, is feeling uncertain just like you.

And with that uncertainty comes a real OPPORTUNITY.

See, men find the uncertainty of not knowing if a woman is going to be “into them” and if they’ll have their feelings and affections reciprocated VERY EXCITING.

If you’ve ever wondered why so many men seem almost addicted to “dating”, but never settle in more serious relationships, this is a large part of why.

It’s NOT just the sex and the women.

It’s the excitement of the uncertainty and the challenge.

Men LOVE the feeling of not knowing whether a woman is going to open up to them physically and emotionally… and then going about making it happen.

To get geeky on your for a second, you could argue that most of men’s behavior both socially and sexually revolves around finding ways to get women to open up to them.

But that’s a whole different topic.

Anyways… the point is that uncertainty can and should work in your favor with a man.

Instead of being something that makes you feel fear and causes you to act in ways that turn him off.

If you can make a man feel attracted to you, and you can let him know that instead of you feeling afraid that he’s not into you, that you’re not sure if YOU are into HIM, then a man is going to only feel that much more intensely interested and attracted to you.

But the mistake most women make when they feel uncertainty with a man is to think that the uncertainty is all about THEM - when in reality the entire situation is uncertain for BOTH him and her.

Follow me here?

Good.

I’ve also got to point out that by being open to communicating your uncertainty to a man when you’re dating, you gain another HUGE BENEFIT.

See, lots of women never let a man know that they are uncertain about CHOOSING HIM, and why.

Lots of women don’t want to “make waves” if they think this could be the one.

But then something bad happens - the man never learns from the woman what she really is looking for, and what she really wants and needs.

Simply by letting a man know that you are uncertain about CHOOSING HIM when you’re dating, something very powerful happens…

You subtly communicate to a man that you are a woman who is SELECTIVE and who has STANDARDS.

And of course, when this happens the man is going to want to get to know your standards very quickly to either:

A) Make sure he meets them and conforms to them because he wants to be with you

B) Decides that he doesn’t fit with what you are really looking for and “disqualifies” himself and saves you a whole lot of heartache and frustration down the road.

Either way, you have a great outcome that is sure to be to your benefit over the long term.

Now, understanding why being the kind of woman who communicates that she is SELECTIVE and has STANDARDS is easier said than done.

In fact, it honestly takes a lot of time just thinking about what these are and what they mean to even understand what’s going on here when it comes to men and dating.

And then learning exactly how to put these things into ACTION in your conversation and your behavior with a man is a whole other story.

Luckily I can help there. I’ve already done all the heavy lifting for you.

Over several years I interviewed women in the real dating world, talked to men in great relationships with women about what worked with them… and researched and observed everything you could imagine from pick up lines in bars to how married couples in long terms relationships communicate and kept the love, affection, and the understanding alive and well between them.

The product of my first several years of research, observation, and then coaching women and “trial and error” to learn what really worked to catch men’s interest and keep it was my eBook.

It’s called “Catch Him & Keep Him” and you can download it right now and be reading it in just a minute or two.

You can even download it for free, try it out and keep reading it to decide if you like it and only pay me if it really helps you.

I’ve already helped thousands of women jump-start their love lives and find the kind of fun, excitement, and happiness that they only thought was for the lucky few women who had one of the few good men around.

Don’t keep living in that world of hope and worry that one day maybe you can have the love in your life you want.

Make it happen today.

Start by downloading my eBook right now here:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

Yours in health and relationships,

Christian Carter

Has a man ever said to you, “I love you, but I’m just not IN LOVE with you anymore. I’m sorry but it’s over”…

And then told you it’s because he just doesn’t “feel it” for you anymore?

Or how he just isn’t in the right place to go on in a relationship? “It’s not you, it’s me.”

It’s like all of a sudden the most special person in your life changed his mind about you and decided everything you have together was worth nothing to him.

How and why do men change their minds so quickly?

What often makes this situation worse is that a man will do most of the following: A) Show little or no signs of what he’s feeling, or that things have changed for him B) Avoid trying to talk with you about it or “work it out” C) Not give you any warning until he breaks up with you, so it completely blind-sides you D) Act as though for your relationship to end, it’s as simple as him letting you know that it’s over for him E) Not have any other “real” reason for his change of heart, other than he just doesn’t want a relationship, or he doesn’t “feel it” for you anymore and he wants to leave

Recognize any of these?

Unfortunately, if you’re like most women, you know all too well what I’m talking about here. And you know exactly how these things happen and feel. Let me be very direct with you about something…

If you’re one of the very small percentage of women who understand why this happens with men, and what to do about it… don’t worry about reading the rest of this post.

This post won’t be a good use of time for you if you’re a woman like this.

But…

If you AREN’T one of these few women, and you’ve not only been left by a man on a moment’s notice for reasons you could never understand, then I’m going to assume you’re still reading and with me because you’d like to learn a few things… Most importantly, I’m guessing you’d like to learn about-

-WHY men feel this way and what it really means

-WHAT you might have done to bring this about, if anything

-HOW to move past this unfortunately common problem with a man quickly, and avoid it in the future

Still with me?

Good. Because I’m going to help you start seeing things from a new perspective… and allow you to create a better situation for yourself now and in the future.

WHY MEN WHO SEEM TO LOVE YOU WILL SAY THEY AREN’T “IN LOVE” WITH YOU ANYMORE ]

If you’ve been in a relationship or two with a man that didn’t end well, then there’s something important I’m sure you’ve already learned- That men can be close to you, share love and affection… and then quickly turn away or leave all together for what seems like no good reason at all. As much as this seems to be completely bizarre, unexplainable, and ridiculous, it’s not. Let me shed some light on what’s going on here with men to save you a lot of time, heartache and frustration…

Men who get into relationships and commit with women DON’T change their minds suddenly about whether or not they want to be with a woman. Although it sure seems this way to a lot of women who’s relationships fall apart. The truth is, when a woman is caught COMPLETELY OFF-GUARD when she learns a man’s feelings and desire to be with her has changed… it’s often because she wasn’t at all AWARE of the way her own thinking and behavior was slowly but surely changing his feelings. Now, hearing this might piss you off a little. You might either feel pissed at me for saying this, or you might really feel pissed at your past relationship and the man in it for not appreciating you and abandoning you. I understand. But don’t let it keep you from LEARNING and GROWING. I get that men can do some pretty crappy things… and handle them in even crappier ways with you. But there’s a harsh reality to face… Unless you want to keep repeating the same mistakes in your life, and re-living the same painful situations with men…

You’re going to have to forget about what it is that a man might think or do that is beyond your control. And you’re going to have to, as much as it might seem scary or too much work for you, start focusing on what it is you CAN CONTROL- your own thinking and behavior.

Let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR about this- Why does a man fall “out of love” and leave a woman that he loves? Because he CHOOSES TO.

Because the EXPERIENCES he has with a woman tell him on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL that not being with her is what is best for him. It’s really that simple if you boil it all down. Of course, truly understanding and accepting this cold-hard fact is a whole different story. TONS of women literally spend their entire lives upset and frustrated with trying to figure out why men do the things they do, or feel the things they feel, only to end up back in the same place again and again - abandoned, loveless and alone.

And with all that pain and frustration, it makes sense that they’re never really able to STOP WORRYING so much about him and why things are happening the way they are… instead of starting to DO and SAY the things that will actually make him feel like being with them and staying with them on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL in the first place.

Starting to follow me here? Good.

Sometimes what seems impossibly complex and illogical to understand can, instead of being analyzed and explained, simply have a “shift” take place around it where things quickly change. Here’s something you need to know… One of the first things most women who experience a man leaving or “falling out of love” with them is to either: A) Quickly turn against the man and tell themselves he was never even CAPABLE of loving someone else the way they love him, and close themselves off B) Try to deny or dispute the fact that the man is now feeling the way he feels by trying to make sense of it and find out what they think is the “real reason”… and then argue against his feelings to try and change his mind C) Become incredibly upset and either explode in pain or anger to him… or they become sad and try to get him back by hoping he’ll see how devastated they are and take pity on them and take them back

Now, see anything interesting about men, about yourself, and about how communication works from reading these 3 responses?

Here’s a hint- What do all these have in common when it comes to addressing any of the “real problems” that might be going on, and why a man might want to leave? They are all 100% COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. In other words, they not only don’t help with men. Doing these things actually makes things a whole lot worse.

Translation - the man who was already feeling like he didn’t want to spend more time with you ends up feeling like being around you is worse than he thought before.

And you can almost hear the last nail being hammered into your relationship coffin. Yikes.

Over the last several years helping women become more happy and successful with men, dating and relationships… I’ve learned something from a question women ask me all the time.

Thousands of women have asked me something along the lines of- “I did this, and then this happened, and then he felt this and said this, and now things are bad or over. Can I fix this? Or is it too late?” Want to know the answer? It’s not too late. Unless you happened to murder the man you love.

Why isn’t it too late? Even though I don’t know every detail about every relationship? Well, to make a long story short, humans have an amazing ability to CHANGE and ADAPT. Which means…

If you know how to start interacting with a man in a way that starts to “engage” him in a positive way emotionally… and you know how to create feelings of ATTRACTION and DESIRE within him, then things can change for the better VERY QUICKLY. It also means, more importantly for you, that YOU TOO can learn, grow, and adapt. Even if you weren’t in the best place personally and emotionally in the past with a man… and some of the things you did pushed him away and made him feel anxious, unhappy, irritated, and generally UNATTRACTED and UNINTERESTED while he was around you… you too can do something about this. You can actually learn and grow and show him the person you’ve probably been all along inside, but he couldn’t see or enjoy or get close to because of all the uncertain and fearful emotions that were in the way. You can take steps to become your “best self”, and do it more quickly than most other women think is possible.

Most women end up not pushing men away because they want to… but because their intense desire to be close and connected and share love with a man somehow wraps them up in negative patterns in their own mind. The sure-fire way to avoid having the thinking and behavior that comes naturally to you in your relationship with a man get in your way is to actually get to the source of everything. Learning what to say, and when is great, but it’s not going to help you if the way you FEEL inside keeps working against you. If you ever find yourself going “off the deep end” emotionally with a man, and then regretting it and knowing that it not only made the situation worse… but was probably changing the way he saw you and judged you, then don’t sit back and let things slip away because you think there’s nothing you can do about it.

If you have the right outfit on, it might attract a man, or catch his interest. But you know that LOVE and a real relationship goes MUCH MUCH DEEPER.

If you know some of the right things to say, or you’re smart and intelligent, you can probably outsmart a man and figure out all these “issues” and call him on them.

But you know that just being able to spot these things IN HIM isn’t going to make your relationship work FOR HIM.

If you’d like to have a great guy in your life and have him treat you well… but somewhere in the back of your mind you don’t really feel great about yourself, the current state of your life and love life, and you’re negative and pessimistic because you don’t really BELIEVE that good things happen to you, then it’s going to affect you in a subtle but significant way when you are close with a man.

If you want to have a great relationship with a great guy… then you’re likely going to find and meet a guy and be able to tell him what kind of relationship you really want.

But if you don’t know how to get HIM interested in the kind of relationship you want… and you don’t know how to find out what it is that he really wants and values deep down inside, then it’s going to be impossible to ever really have something REAL and LASTING. Most women think that if they can get some understanding about the words, the actions, and the emotions that take place between them and a man that they can figure out how to make things work and love will come together.

The truth is that WORDS, ACTIONS, and EMOTIONS are really just the things that are on the SURFACE between a man and a woman. If you don’t know what’s going on beneath the surface, then you’re not going to be able to get to the “essence” of what’s really going on inside a man… or what’s going on inside yourself and how it must make a man feel when he’s with you.

There’s a deeper level.

A deeper level that can bring the AWARENESS and CONSCIOUSNESS you need about yourself, and about what’s going on inside a man.

Let me suggest something to you here…

Isn’t it possible that a man, just like you, can either feel attracted to you, or not feel attracted to you, because of that “something else” about you that he couldn’t put his finger on if you asked him? And above and beyond ATTRACTION… can’t a man, just like you, feel like you’re either the one person he wants to be with, or not? The answer here is YES… a man can feel this way.

And NO… there’s nothing you can possibly ever think of to say or do with a man that will change his mind or his feelings right then and there. But most women try to anyways.

If you’re ready to leave your old fears, your past failed relationships, and your old negative and destructive thought patterns behind… And you’ve made the decision to become your “best self” for the sake of your own happiness and your relationship with a man, then the good news is that I can help.

You don’t have to stand by and watch your own negative thoughts, feelings, and actions work against you in your love life.
If you haven’t read my eBook Catch Him & Keep Him, it’s a must read and the best place to get started with all my material. You can download a free trial copy to your computer in just a minute or two and be on your way to a better love life or relationship in no time.

Get your copy here: http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim/

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Are you one of the many single women in the world who would make an AMAZING PARTNER for a man…. but can’t even find a decent date?

Do you ever feel like it’s impossible to understand what a man is thinking when it comes to “dating” and relationships?

Do you ever wish that you could just skip the “games” and the uncertainty that come with dating and get straight to something REAL?

If so, I want to share with you a few important ways to stop missing out on the love and connection you’re looking for… and start finding and creating what you want with a man.

There’s something I want to know about you first, though.

I wonder how often this has happened to you-

You meet a man you find attractive and you go out on a date…

The date goes better than you imagined, and you find him even more interesting and desirable than you thought you would.

You feel great around him and the conversation flows.

You both connect with each other and have all kinds of unbelievable things in common.

The more time you spend with him, the more you become excited about where things could go… and that you’ve finally met a man who’s fun, attractive AND who actually seems open and healthy as a person.

To top it off, the chemistry you share is AMAZING… and you share a steamy good-night kiss that proves it.

You can tell he’s feeling it too.

This is something more than just another date. It’s more than two people spending time together.

This is something special and real.

That’s why you can’t help yourself…

Before you even hear from him again, you’re telling your girlfriends all about him, what a great time you had, what it’s like when you’re together… and when you’re going to see each other next.

You’re VERY excited about your new man.

You imagine introducing him to your friends.

You even allow yourself a fantasy or two about all the fun things you’ll do together in the weeks to come and what your life together could be like.

You have a GREAT FEELING about this.

Best of all, he’s calling you, emailing, and he wants to see you all the time.

And he’s not only attractive and charming- it turns out he’s a really good person too.

After a few more dates you’re intimate with him because you feel so comfortable together. And the sex is AMAZING.

Things are going so great that you say to yourself,

“At last! A real man I truly connect with. I better not screw this up!”

But just then you realize how much he is starting to mean to you… and in the back of your mind it kind of freaks you out.

And it’s then that the dating and relationship nightmares from your past flash back in your mind…

You don’t want to feel the pain you felt in the past ever again… and you start to feel afraid that the same things could happen again.

Your mind races with fear and anxiety.

But to keep it together you put faith in the situation and in this man. You tell yourself that it’s different this time, and that he isn’t one of those other guys.

And to make sure things keep moving forward in the right direction, you start trying a little harder with him to get it right this time.

You do all kinds of nice things for him.

You make the effort to find out all about him, understand him, and help him out with the things that are going on for him in his life. You even start to do things like favors, errands, etc. just because you want him to know how much you care and to be close to him.

In the back of your mind you really hope he’ll recognize all the great things you’re doing for him, and how amazing you and your relationship can be.

With all you’re doing for him and your relationship, he’d be crazy not to want to be with you.

But after a few more dates, suddenly something starts to feel WRONG…

That same easy and free way of loving and being with each other suddenly feels different.

You realize how much you’re doing for him and all the ways you’re trying… and suddenly it hits you-

He isn’t making much of an effort to do anything for you or your relationship.

Not the way you are with him.

Then you realize that he’s been calling you less than he used to.

He doesn’t seem as excited to be with you and share his thoughts and feelings as he used to be at first.

He even stops making much in the way of plans, and starts doing a lot of other things he wasn’t doing before.

And since you don’t want to keep calling him, you wait for his call… hoping he’ll make weekend plans with you.

But Thursday comes, and then Friday, and still no call.

Your worst fears are starting to be realized. But you don’t want to over-react.

So even though you’re hurt and upset that he didn’t call you… you want to be with him, so you reluctantly call him.

You tell yourself there must be a good reason and that he’s been busy or something.

When you finally get a hold of him, he doesn’t even sound like the same guy.

He talks like he hardly knows you and you’ve never been close.

You try to be casual and ask him what he’s been doing, but you want to know what he’s been doing and why he hasn’t called you.

Then you find out he’s been going out and doing things with friends and other people.

Arggggh! He didn’t even invite you!

Wait a minute…

Aren’t you two an “item”? Shouldn’t you be doing something TOGETHER on weekends and in your free time?

You start feeling really FRUSTRATED and CONFUSED.

Maybe he doesn’t see what’s going on, so you decide to let him know how you feel and “call him on it.”

You tell him how upset you felt that he didn’t ask you to hang out with him and his friends.

And you ask him what’s going on, and why he’s being this way with you.

But he doesn’t respond the way you’d want or expect him too.

Instead of listening to you and your feelings… he gets irritated and ANGRY with you. As though you’re “hassling” him.

After some arguing and back and forth, he seems to shift gears in the conversation and says something that really makes your heart SINK.

Something that you had a gut FEELING you’d hear from him with this going on-

He tells you,

“Look… you’re great, but the truth is that I’m not ready or in the right place for any kind of ’serious’ relationship right now.”

And he goes on to tell you about all the things going on in his life that are taking up his time and energy… and that he doesn’t know how to settle down right now.

Ouch.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT!?

Why is he acting like you’re going to get in the way of the rest of his life?

Why did he ask you out in the first place, and spend all that time sharing himself, being with you, and connecting with you if he didn’t want a relationship all along?

Couldn’t he have told you that when you first met, instead of asking you out?

Why did he spend all that time with you and sleep with you if he didn’t want to be with you?

And how come he doesn’t recognize or appreciate all the things you bring to his life, and all the things that you do for him?

At this point, you feel incredibly hurt, frustrated, unappreciated, and misunderstood.

You even become intensely UPSET and ANGRY with him, and with yourself. How could you have misunderstood what was happening and not seen this coming!?

Why did he do all the things he did, and why did he SAY all those things that made you think HE WANTED a relationship with you?

Now, if you’ve experienced a situation like this with a man before… then I really feel for you.

It SUCKS.

In the story above, for lots of women the story doesn’t end there when the man says he’s not ready for anything serious.

Why?

Because they either don’t want to listen to the man… or they refuse to believe him.

And then what happens?

Some women actually go on to spend the next few weeks or maybe even MONTHS doing everything they can to try and win the guy back.

They think that if they can just get him to stop ignoring what it is that they share, and to not be afraid… that the guy will “come to his senses” and come back to them.

WRONG!

If you’ve ever been in this situation, or known a woman who was, here are a few of the most common responses:

A) Pretending you don’t want anything serious either and keep on sleeping with the man “casually” in hopes that things will grow from the “physical relationship”

B) Staying close to him by trying to become his “best friend” as you help him in his life and with his problems - all the while imagining the “payoff” of a real relationship for your good deeds once he recognizes how great you are

C) Trying to make him jealous by telling him you’re seeing other guys, even if you’re not. Or going out with other guys and doing things with them not because you like them, but because you want him to find out and want you back

D) Getting pissed off at him and telling him he’s dumb, immature, and acting like a little BOY… and that he’s just scared of a real relationship
and a commitment - and then trying to get him to have a relationship with you to “fix” himself

E) Trying to make him interested in you by complimenting him, doing nice things for him, taking up things he’s interested in to be around him… and being available to him at anytime he should show interest. This is kind of like trying to be his “best friend”, but different since it’s often still sexual.

Now, I’m guessing that you recognized at least one of these responses as you were reading through them.

As you read yours, you probably thought “Oh no, that was me!”… and now you see your behavior in a slightly different light.

In fact, maybe you see you’ve made a couple of these mistakes with men.

Here’s the thing…

None of these responses ever work with men.

Ever.

Feel free to ask your girlfriends and your guy friends if you don’t believe me.

Doing these things with a man is like instant MAN-REPELLENT.

But, strangely enough, even though these universally don’t get men to respond in any positive way… these are still the most common ways that women who don’t understand men and dating respond.

Which begs me to ask the question…

Why do so many women make these same mistakes in the first place? And why are these so universally common?

The short answer is this-

If a woman makes these kinds of mistakes with men, it’s NOT because she “learned” it by seeing it work for other women with other men.

Absolutely not.

It’s because she does WHAT MAKES SENSE to HER in the moment.

But guess what?

If you’ve spent enough time around men, then you’ve probably discovered that men DON’T MAKE MUCH SENSE.

See where I’m going here?

If you try and use what makes sense to YOU as a woman with a man… odds are you’re going to get very poor results.

Which means…

If you want to start getting better outcomes and results when it comes to men, and you want to be able to communicate with a man in a way that brings him closer…

Then you’re going to have to learn to STOP doing what makes “sense” to you…

And START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you.

In other words… the biggest challenge most women run into when it comes to “breaking through” to men and getting past the surface dating stuff and into a real relationship with a real man is not being able to see past their own MINDSET and the approach they’ve been using that hasn’t worked.

If you have the wrong mindset, and the thus the wrong approach when it comes to men and dating… then it practically guarantees you’re going to fail from the very beginning.

Seriously.

But if you can learn to understand how your mindset affects how you interpret and respond to a man… and you can start to get the kind of PERSPECTIVE or AWARENESS that will lead you to knowing what’s really going on with a man, and how to respond… then things are quickly and naturally going to fall into place for you.

By the way, if you’d like to learn from what I honestly think is one of the world’s best resources for quickly understanding how men think, discovering what attracts them, and shifting your mindset and perspective for easy and effortless success… I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.

You can download it below right now and be reading it in literally a few minutes.

Best of all, I’ll let you read the entire thing at zero cost before you decide if you’d want to purchase it.

Get all the details and go download it right here now:

http://www.dating-adivce-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

Now, here’s the other important question to ask now that we’ve identified some of the common mistakes women make with men…

WHY don’t these responses and ways of communicating and dealing with men work? Even though at the time responding this way makes absolute sense?

Because they all have one terrible thing in common…

They are all deadly forms of what I call APPROVAL SEEKING BEHAVIOR.

Ok, so what does that mean?

And why is it such a terrible thing when it comes to men, dating, attraction, and having a man see you as the kind of woman he really wants to be with?

Good question…

I’m going to try and make a long and complicated story very short here to show you what approval seeking behavior is, and why it’s such a GIANT MISTAKE with men…

See, men have all kinds of ways of thinking, seeing things, and behaviors that aren’t completely conscious - but are what I’ll call more BIOLOGICAL or INSTINCTUAL.

These are things that have been instilled in them over thousands and millions of years of “conditioning” during mating and courtship rituals with women.

When a man is looking for a woman, a part of his instinctual “wiring” unconsciously tells him to look for a woman who is healthy and “fit”.

This means that men are biologically wired to look for, and feel “attracted” to women who have the qualities and traits that indicate a high level of health and “fitness”.

But unfortunately, this “screening process” that’s going on inside a man’s mind is largely UNCONSCIOUS.

In other words, a man can’t and won’t just walk up to a woman and say,

“Hi, I’m looking for a mate. I’d like to know if you would make a good mate for me. Are you any of the following?

-Physically fit and healthy so you can conceive a healthy child, give birth, and raise him/her?

-”Genetically fit” so that you have a high likelihood to bear successful offspring by passing off great qualities like size, strength, intelligence, immunity, etc?

-Intelligent, “funny”, and resourceful so that you can not only be a mate that makes me feel attracted to you and want to conceive lots of children… but also help in this world of hard- to-come-by resources?

-Going to make a great mother who can care for our child and raise it while I’m out trying to “provide”?

Catch my drift?

This is part of the reason why so often a woman will ask a man why he’s feeling one way or another… or why he’s acting different or not interested in a relationship and he can’t explain it.

It’s just the way he FEELS.

Either he FEELS ATTRACTED. Or he doesn’t.

Of course, these “biological buttons” aren’t the only thing going on inside a man’s mind.

Men do have more CONSCIOUS processes for the way they choose a woman, and for the way they feel.

If trying to cram all this into your head and understand what it means, and how to respond to all these things while trying to have a real conversation with a man seems ridiculous and daunting to you - it should.

The reality is that you can’t sit and think to yourself… “Gee, I’d like him to think I’d make a good mate who could rear successful and healthy children, I’ll tell him about how healthy me and my family are.”

It just doesn’t work that way.

A man looks at much subtler “cues” about a woman that tell him what to think.

Some of these “cues” are:

-Physical Appearance (the obvious one): If you have a specific hip-to-waist ratio, without consciously “measuring” it, a man will see it and possibly feel a physical attraction

-Health: Things like how white the whites in your eyes are, your scent, and the tone and nature of your skin are all subtle indicators of a healthy
immune system. Men find white eyes, certain scents, and smooth skin attractive not because they know they indicate that a woman is healthy and will have a high likelihood of success for offspring, but because they FEEL ATTRACTED to these things for some reason.

-”Emotional Fitness”: If a woman has the kind of attitude and “vibe” about her that is fun to be around, stimulating, exciting, and positive and
consistent… then a man unconsciously will see her as a good long-term mate.

To find out all the things that truly interest and attract men… as well as the more subtle and complex things that make a man become EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED with a woman it could take a long long time to figure out.

It could take you literally years of research, of failed relationships, and of trying different things.

And even then you might not arrive at what is really going on with men, and how to make a relationship come together and work.

If you’re single after all these years, and you still don’t have the knowledge and the confidence that comes from truly knowing how to approach and handle men, dating, and relationships… then you know what I mean.

Luckily, I’ve done the work for you.

I’ve spent my time doing years of research, observation, interviews, etc. to get deep inside the mind of men… and I’ve also spent years talking with women about every question under the sun of how to create the love life they want with a man.

It also doesn’t hurt that I happen to be a man myself who has been through all kinds of situations in dating and relationships with women myself… and I have the perspective of how these things work for a man.

And I’m proud to say that I’ve been more successful in helping women in their love lives than I ever imagined was possible.

Now I want to share what I’ve learned with you… and help you the way I’ve helped literally thousands of other women.

If you’d like to learn how men think when it comes to the “dating process”… and how a man really thinks about a woman and getting involved in a real relationship with her, then I’ve got just what you need.

Women who don’t understand what the dating and COMMITMENT PROCESS is like inside a man’s mind seem to keep running into the same painful situations, frustrations, and traps with men.

The way a man grows close to a woman, the reasons why he chooses her over another woman, and when and why he decides to start sharing himself with her and growing a real and committed relationship is simply different than it is for most women.

If you don’t understand where a man is at, you don’t know how to read the signs, and most importantly… if you don’t know WHAT TO DO in each situation, then your odds of creating what you want with a man, and him wanting it with you are very slim.

One of the biggest “make it or break it” points for women in relationships with men is when you start to grow close and want to move from just a casual and unspoken thing into a deeper and more serious relationship.

If you’ve ever felt “stuck” in your love life because you didn’t know how to break through the “casual dating” stage with a man and move into a real and committed relationship, I can help.

If you know much about men, then you probably already know that the answer with a man in this situation is NOT to ask him for a commitment.

Lots of women try this and become frustrated and baffled when the man they thought they were close to completely pulls away from them and even tries to end the relationship all together.

If you want to grow your relationship with a man, the best way to move into a committed relationship isn’t to come up against his “EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE” to commitment when you bring it up.

The best relationships that women enjoy most, and that last the longest, are the ones where THE MAN is leading the woman into a committed relationship.

Where HE is asking HER to COMMIT TO HIM.

But for lots of women, things seem to get terribly turned around.

For the greatest chance at happiness and success with a man, and to be able to quickly and easily move from a casual situation to a real and committed relationship with a man, the answer is to learn:

1) How the commitment process works for him

2) How to make a man want to be with you and lead you in to a committed relationship

3) How to keep your relationship growing and healthy so that you both stay emotionally involved and fulfilled by the relationship

Most women NEVER learn these things, and as a result, they never have the kind of success in dating and relationships with men they really
want.

So don’t wait for your relationship to figure itself out if you’re in one.

Don’t wait for a man to figure it out and make your relationship work for you.

Don’t wait until you’re dating the right guy and in a great relationship to learn how to help it grow and make it work with him.

Make it happen now.

So don’t wait. Make the rest of your love life easier, more fun, and less frustrating and uncertain today by taking one simple step-

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.

You can download it below right now and be reading it in literally a few minutes.

Best of all, I’ll let you read the entire thing at zero cost before you decide if you’d want to purchase it.

Get all the details and go download it right here now:

http://www.dating-adivce-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Have you found yourself spending time thinking about a man and a relationship you DON’T have lately?

Have you felt lonely missing the kind of love and relationship in your life that you know is possible?

If so…

You’re closer to having love, a great man, and a great relationship in your life than you might imagine.

I mean it. I’m not just saying that to try and make you feel better.

This new year could be the year that the one special man and relationship will come into your life forever… or that one special connection you’ve already found finally comes together.

BUT…

If you’re like lots of women, as much as you want and try for love, you’re NEVER going to have the relationship you want with the man you really want.

Why?

Not because you aren’t a good person.

Not because you don’t want it.

And not because you aren’t willing to give yourself and your love in order to get it in return.

No. You’re problem isn’t any of this.

In fact, you probably find yourself suffering from being too giving.

Your problem is that you’re secretly scared and frustrated that you don’t really know what it takes to bring the right man and the right relationship to you… and make it LAST.

So instead you try desperately to make the little love that you are receiving and experiencing into more than it is.

And your struggling and frustration in this is only making things worse.

Let me ask you…

Do you have the love and the relationship you really want in your life right now?

And did the last year bring you all the love and the joy you hoped it would?

Or are you still struggling with how to find and meet the right guy, how to connect with him… and how to build a real, loving, and lasting relationship?

Are you living your life to the fullest, and experiencing all the love and connection that’s possible?

Or have you spent most of the last year “spinning your wheels”, with little or nothing to show for all your blood, sweat, and tears?

I’m asking about all this for an important reason…

Because if you went through unnecessary pain and heartache over the last year because of how things have gone with men in your life…

I want to help make sure you NEVER have to suffer from the same mistakes and experience… the same awful feelings in your future.

You open to some help with that?

Good.

That’s why it’s time to look back and learn why it is that you have NOT had what you want in your love life yet.

A tremendous amount of learning and power comes from taking a look at what you’ve been doing and asking yourself honestly “Why isn’t what I’m doing working?”

Now…

It’s also time for you to really and truly start creating what it is YOU want.

As luck would have it, it just happens to be that time of the year when it’s good to take a step back and consider what’s actually important, and what’s happened over the last year of your life.

That’s why I want to ask you something.

And try to be as honest with yourself about this as you can be…

Did you figure out exactly how to start creating what it is you really want in your love life in the New Year?

Are you CONFIDENT in your ability to find and create the love you want in your life? And to keep it going?

Do you know what it takes to have a man in your life who is irresitibly ATTRACTED to you for the right reasons… and who feels that you are the kind of woman he could truly open up to, love, and share his life with?

And do you know how to work through the “bumps in the road” and the uncertainty that’s sure to come up in a real, intense, loving relationship?

Or are you just trying to fake it until a man comes along and loves you so much that he makes everything easy and OK? And he takes away that hidden fear and insecurity you have about whether you’ll ever be loved and have the kind of loving and secure relationship you want?

If there’s any time to sit back for a second, take stock of yourself and your life, and set a new path for love and success… it’s RIGHT NOW.

So let me help you now that you’re open to shedding your old skin and transforming your life with men, dating, and relationships.

Here are some of the tough questions you need to ask yourself if you’d like to create a better love life for yourself in the New Year…

I want you to really think about what I am asking here, and how an honest answer to each of these will help you identify what you can do to change your “luck” in love.

1) Are you selective in choosing the men you commit to and share yourself and your love with? And just as important, do the men in your life understand that you are selective?

2) Do you communicate your expectations effectively, and get what you want from the men in your life? Or at least get positive results when you communicate?

3) Have you stopped trying to “convince” a man to like you or love you… and to stay with you?

4) Are you the one who is in charge of your emotions, and how you communicate them? Instead of them being in charge of you?

5) Do you know how to communicate your value and confidence without words so that a man will sense and FEEL your worth just by being around you?

6) Do you know how to trigger a “deeper” level of ATTRACTION in a man that goes beyond physical desire and sparks intense emotions and a sense of bonding with you that lasts for more than a few hot nights?

Chances are, you answered NO to at least one of these questions… and that means you’re making a few critical mistakes that are proven to push men away and kill any kind of real ATTRACTION and “long-term interest” they might feel for you.

But don’t worry, that’s normal if you haven’t learned what it takes to have a great guy and a great relationship in your life that lasts.

The good news is, now you can easily start to identify the mistakes you’re making and, with a few quick and easy changes… start getting more love and fulfillemnt out of 2007 than you have ever before.

The only question now is…

Are you ready to make a commitment to yourself and to your happiness in love this year?

Because if you want to experience love and commitment with a man, you are going to have to make a commitment to creating your best self first.

And creating the woman you are inside that a man will be magnetically drawn to and find irresistible.

The best way I know of to help get you off to an amazing start and give you all the insights you’ll need into how men think and feel when it comes to women is HERE:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

If you’re ready to turn your luck around right now and make 2007 the year that changed your love life forever… then you need to go and download a free trial copy of my ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him”

It’s here:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

In it, I go into specific details about how to turn the “No” answers you had to the questions I asked above into resounding “Yeses”.

You’ll learn what is really going on inside a man’s head, simple tactics to get his attention and hold it… and how to approach all your relationship conversations in a way that will leave HIM wanting to be with you and stay with you in a long-term commitment.

If that’s what you want.

Unfortunately, most women never learn how to make a man feel so intensely ATTRACTED to them that they are the ones deciding how and when the relationship moves forward.

wouldn’t it feel great to have your CONFIDENCE back in this way… to where a man wasn’t the one calling the shots?

To make it even easier for you to start 2007 off on the right foot, you can go and download my ebook right now and be reading it in literally just a few minutes.

Read it, try it out for free for 7 days, and if you aren’t satisfied for any reason, you can keep it and not pay a dime. Just let me know and I won’t bill you.

No questions asked.

Your new love life and the amazing experiences you’ve been missing and hoping for are right in front of you… if you want to make them come true for you.

The next step is yours. And all you have to do is TRY by a few clicks of your mouse, and you could transform your love life FOREVER.

Don’t let this new year, and the love you could be sharing in your life pass you by because you didn’t take the time to learn what it takes to have what you want with a man.

You’ve got nothing to lose. And a lifetime of love and fulfillment to gain.

Go here now to read all the details and download my eBook free for a full week.

Bring love back into your life HERE:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

I wish you a love-filled New Year, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,

Christian Carter

I hope you all had a wonderful and eventful New Years and holiday season.

I was looking on the web and found this photo that makes everything so simple and clear!

Angelina