Always Picking The Wrong Type of Guys

Written by Christian Carter |  No Comment

Have you ever found yourself wishing that you could find a great guy for a lasting relationship… only later to recognize that all you’re actually doing is dating the wrong “unavailable” men instead?

It’s at this point that “dating” and trying to find the right guy can feel like a complete waste of time.

If you’re like lots of women, then the idea of having a loving and committed relationship with a great guy is exactly what you picture in your mind…

But things never quite work out this way for you.

Instead, you find all the WRONG GUYS and end up falling into the wrong relationships.

And it’s not until you’re already involved with the wrong guy that you find out who he really is, and where he’s really at.

Or… you learn that the man you’ve been seeing already has ANOTHER WOMAN in his life.

But by the time you find all this out, it’s just too late.

You’ve already grown ATTACHED to this man and to making things work no matter how hard or “unwise” it seems.

Arrgggh!

These kinds of situations are enough to make you want to give up altogether.

Now, let me also ask you this…

Do you have any girlfriends who are constantly talking and complaining about men and how relationships never work out for them?

Each relationship is a huge struggle where they feel like they’re the only one’s “doing the work”.

And when their relationship ends, they have a brief “awakening” where they realize what a nightmare things have been. So they swear to NEVER EVER get into the same kind of situation they were in ever again.

But wouldn’t you know it…

As soon as they’re finished with one bad relationship, they manage to find and start another.

And all of a sudden they’re talking about a new set of “problems” that soundly STRANGELY
FAMILIAR.

Of course, when you were listening to all of this going on for your girlfriend the first few times around, you might have thought she really did have some bad luck when it came to men, love, and relationships.

And you felt bad and wondered why things were going so badly for her.

Why was it so IMPOSSIBLE for her to have a real, open, honest relationship with a man?

Were all these men just screwed up?

But after months of the same things over and over again where she didn’t really listen or do anything about it, and watching her get herself into the same situations with different men… you started seeing things from a new perspective-

Maybe it wasn’t all about these men.

Sure, these guys were immature and had their “issues”. But it was your friend who was the one who ultimately picked and chose all these men in the first place.

And maybe there was more to this than her being “unlucky in love”.

Sure, bad things happen and men can be unpredictable and hard to deal with sometimes.

But everyday there are women who have had “back luck” with men who finally start to get it and quickly turn their love lives around for good.

Are you starting to see where I’m going with this, and how it relates to you?

Good.

Here’s the reality…

If you’ve had a repeating cycle of the wrong relationships with the wrong men, then whether you’d like to admit it or not… there’s a part of you that’s acting just like those other girlfriends of yours.

And just like them, if you’ve got the same negative and painful situations coming up that don’t see to be going away until men “figure it out”… then it’s probably going to be a VERY VERY LONG TIME until a man finally does figure
it out for you.

If he ever does.

Don’t wait for a man to figure it out for you and make things easy the way you think they should work.

If you spend just a little time and energy learning to break your own patterns that are in your way to love and a great relationship…

I’m going to share with you a powerful and important insight that you might not be at all aware of right now…

HOW YOU’RE WASTING YOUR ENERGY BY HELPING IT WORK AGAINST YOU

One of the things I’ve seen get in women’s way the most over the years I’ve been helping them be more successful and fulfilled with love and relationships is not understanding what I call “The Relationship Balance”.

When most women start a new relationship with a man, everything is easy and has a fun and natural “flow” to it.

But as time passes, something always ends up changing.

Whether it’s because the man you’re with starts acting differently, or it’s time to have “the talk”… there’s always that critical moment in every relationship where you need to communicate more and have an understanding about where things are going.

Call it a first kind of “commitment” in your relationship.

Unfortunately for most women in this moment, they aren’t aware that in their relationship there’s a subtle and delicate balance going on between them and the man they’re with.

To them, things just feel right and that’s what really matters.

But when they show up and start talking about their relationship moving forward, suddenly the excitement and energy you have invested in being with this man affects him VERY differently.

Somehow he goes from wanting to spend more time with you and be with you… to not being very open or affectionate with you, and keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself.

To you, it seems like he’s become WITHDRAWN because he must be scared or nervous about the idea of getting more “serious” with you.

But what most women don’t realize about this is that there’s what I’ll call an “energetic” shift going on here.

Before you wanted to have “the talk” with him and know where your relationship was going, or before you felt UNCERTAIN and wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling… he was always GIVING to you.

He would give affection. He would give his time and attention. And he’d compliment you and say all kinds of amazing things.

But after you start asking him about what they mean and where things are headed, he perceives what you’re saying not as an invitation for you both to keep GIVING and sharing with each other… but as a DEMAND that you RECEIVE.

If you know anything about men yet, then you know that men don’t meet with DEMANDS well at all. Especially in relationships and when it comes to anything that involves EMOTIONS.

When you start asking a man what’s going on, prompting him to tell you all his thoughts and feelings… and you start to WORRY about what is going to happen next, there’s a huge shift that happens.

Instead of having the easy and fun flow to your relationship with the BALANCE you used to enjoy… the man you’re with will quickly start to see you as what I call a “Convincer”.

This is a woman who tries to convince a man that he should want to be with her, and that the only “right” thing to do or say involves meeting her idea of what the relationship needs to be.

You can probably guess how a man reacts to a woman taking on the role of the “Convincer”.

Exactly. His natural and almost immediate response that is triggered is for him to RESIST and take on the role of the “Resistor” in the relationship.

And before you know it the whole balance of your relationship is thrown off.

By using your good intentions to try and bring you and the man in your life closer together… you have the right idea.

But the way you go about it feels like a DEMAND to him, and it makes him feel the complete OPPOSITE OF ATTRACTED to you… to where he’s not at all interested in you and a more serious relationship at that moment.

To get back to that fun and loving BALANCE in your relationship with a man… the answer is NOT to try and talk to him about your relationship more.

But this is the fatal mistake that most women try without even thinking about it.

If you want to shift the balance in your relationship back to one where a man is open, loving, affectionate, and listens to you without becoming withdrawn or defensive or irritated by you… then the very best thing you can do is LET CHANGE BEGIN WITH YOU.

In my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him” I show you exactly how the Relationship Balance works, and go into detail about the Convince and Resistor roles men and women take on in relationships.

If you’ve become the “Convincer” and a man reacts to you as though you are making DEMANDS on him whenever you want to talk about your relationship… then I STRONGLY SUGGEST you download a copy of my eBook right now and learn exactly what you can say and do that will help you create that magical “shift”.

You can download a copy of my eBook right now and be reading it in just a minute.

Christian Carter

Categories : Common Dating Problems

Christian Carter is a leading advisor to women on dating, relationships, connection and love. An expert in psychology, communication and behavior, Christian Carter has developed foundational concepts that help women understand men, dating and relationships. Visit Christian's official website, by clicking here.

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