Entries from June 2007 ↓

Do you ever find yourself meeting and dating all the WRONG MEN?

Or maybe you’re one of the women who does something even worse…

Do you find yourself getting involved with men who have serious fears, issues, or even ADDICTIONS that make it literally impossible
for you to have a functional and healthy relationship?

If so, then there’s something I’m sure you’re going through right now-

It’s that when you meet a new man, not only are you being “triggered” and attracted to the very things that are wrong with them… (yes, you!)

But…

When you do meet a nice guy who leaves more space for you to actually think about what’s happening and not be caught up in some “drama”…instead of enjoying this space where there’s a lack of issues to occupy your thoughts- your mind ends up filling up with all kinds of fears and worries anyway.

It’s what your mind is use to doing and is constantly trained to do.

In other words… when you get time to really “check in with yourself” and find out more of what you’re really feeling inside - instead of becoming relaxed, centered and in control…

You end up finally getting in touch for the first time with the part of you that is terribly AFRAID OF BEING BURNED AGAIN.

Now, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that this isn’t a great place to be as a woman – where your fears are speaking so loudly that they literally take over on an unconscious level.

But, here’s the good news… this isn’t very unusual. And it doesn’t have to work this way.

TONS of women who have had a run of bad luck with all the wrong men end up feeling this way.

But here’s the thing…

It’s not going to go away all by itself,and the right man, no matter how sensitive,sweet, caring, nurturing, or communicative he is with you, can NEVER fix this thing inside you.

Ever.

Even if he tries and wants to help you heal.

This is YOUR FEAR that is going to pop up in a relationship with a man no matter how great he is, and no matter how hard he tries to make you feel secure and reassured.

The point is…

If you don’t do something about this fear and emotional habit in your life, and you stay “stuck” in this fearful and “blocked” place- you’re NEVER going to get to where you want to be.

And I’m sure the last thing you want to do at this point in your life is to finallyfind a great guy, start off a healthy loving relationship… and then sabotage the wholething because of the bad things that have happened to you in your past.

Talk about wasting your energy and working against yourself.

I want to make sure you get to avoid all this in your future.

And that’s why am I talking to you about all this.

There’s something important you should know right now…

THE TWO GREATEST MISTAKES YOU’RE MAKING IF YOU’RE MEETING AND DATING ALL THE WRONG MEN

There are 2 important mistakes you need to know right now about men and relationships.

Mistake #1) Thinking that a man is going to change because he loves you

There are good men out there, and there are “bad” men out there for you to meet.

It’s not your job to “fix” or change the ones who aren’t right for you, or who aren’t ready… or who can’t get their act together but seem like great guys otherwise.

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve met,talked to, or who have emailed me, who go on to explain the “crazy” and “psycho” behaviors and things the men they’re interested in do…only to then ask me - how do I get him back, or
what can I do to fix things?

And these are smart women who have great, full lives, healthy relationships with others, and who logically know that the way the man they are with is acting is completely insane and ridiculous.

These women have what I think of as the”Instant Relationship”… where even if they’ve just been with a man for a few days, weeks, or casual months… because they FEEL something for this man and think there’s hope of a real
relationship in there somewhere, they end up willing to do ANYTHING to try and make things work.

I’ve come to understand that this “Instant Relationship” is a kind of ADDICTION that lots of women (even smart ones) fall victim to and end up not only tying themselves into DANGEROUS and UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS with the WRONG MEN…

But this “Instant Relationship” mistake also ends up pushing away the RIGHT MAN once he comes along.

The reality is that all men have a kind of “button” that’s pushed inside them when they see a woman who shows signs that she’s doing the Instant Relationship” thing…

And this button is an instant switch that takes them from interested and turned on by a woman and transforms everything she does after the Instant Relationship things pops up into a total TURN OFF, to the point where a man suddenly becomes 100% NOT INTERESTED in any kind of RELATIONSHIP.

Which leads me to the second mistake…

Mistake #2) Not recognizing that YOU are the one who keeps finding these “wrong” men and getting involved with them

How many times have you had a woman friend who was dating some terrible guy who was a real piece of work, and he kept doing awful thing after awful thing to her and their relationship?

Or maybe they weren’t even an item – they were just “dating”… and still this guy thought it was OK to try and get away with God knows what with her.

But, no matter what he did, or how awful it was… instead of your friend seeing what he was doing and thinking, “Wow, that’s behavior I can’t and won’t accept”….

Instead she simply became MORE ENGAGED and more EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.

It was as though however intensely bad or negative the things that the man was doing…

She became equally emotionally “invested” and intense about trying to fix things, or help him, or make things work.

And all the while you’re friend COMPLAINED to you-

“Why is he doing this to me?”

“How do I get him to stop?”

Or the worst one of all…

“Why do I always attract guys who do this stuff to me?”

Duh!!!!

Because you TOLERATE IT and stay around for the pain and suffering that goes along with it..emotionally engaging with people (or men) who obviously don’t have their act together.

If you have a friend who says these kinds of things, please do them a huge favor and give them a good hard SLAP across the face next time they launch into the “poor me” stuff.

And yes… if you’ve been doing this stuff yourself, then you know what you’ve got to do.

I want you to walk over to the nearest mirror in your house, look yourself straight in the eyes, give yourself a good hard slap across the face and tell yourself to “Stop it!”.

WHERE TO START WITH WHAT WORKS WITH MEETING THE RIGHT MEN AND DATING

Ok, first things first.

It’s time to learn once and for all how to truly identify the right man for you. (And screen out and stay away from the wrong ones)

Here’s a few sure-fire traits of a man who is NOT RIGHT for you…

Bad Sign #1: He Doesn’t Call Very Often

Let me be as clear and as simple as possible here…

If you’ve met a guy, flirted, talked and exchanged contact info… if he isn’t calling you very often, or he doesn’t ask you out… it doesn’t mean that there’s some MYSTERY about him that you need to figure out that will show you exactly what’s going on with him.

His ACTIONS are the answer you’re looking for.

Not the “secret” and “hidden” meaning that you want to discover that’s behind them.

If a man is interested in you, and is ready to engage in the kind of dating situation or relationship that he thinks you’re looking for,then he’s going to call you.

It’s that simple.

Bad Sign #2: You’re Trying To Help Him And “Fix” Parts Of His Life Before You’re Even Really Together

I really feel for women on this one.

Do you know any women who seem to be the therapists, counselors, or moms to all the wounded and broken male birds of the world?

Well, I have to say that it’s so amazing that some women are so caring, selfless, and generous to the point of sacrificing huge parts of their time and energy to help others.

Thank God for the women of the world.

But not all women do this in a way that comes from a HEALTHY place inside.

Here’s a good rule of thumb with men…

If you’re dating a man and before you even get in a verbally committed relationship with him, he starts asking you to do and fix all kinds of things for him in his life - then it’s not that it wouldn’t be sweet or “nice” if you
did these things for him…

It’s that doing these things would instantly change the dynamic of your relationship from one where you are an attractive and interesting woman a man wants to get to know and be close to…

To one where you are more of a “mother” to him who he comes to with his PROBLEMS and starts to identify with all kinds of things that he doesn’t like ABOUT HIMSELF.

In other words… remember when I told you about the “Instant Relationship” earlier, and how women who make this mistake instantly turn men off with this behavior - because of the way a man sees it and what it means to a man about
what’s going on inside a woman?

Well, here’s the thing…

If a man is quickly wanting you to start doing all kinds of things for him that he will ultimately RESENT YOU FOR later in your relationship… and that will cause him to lose interest and attraction for you…

Then it’s HIM who’s making the “Instant Relationship” mistake.

And just like when a woman starts instantly acting like a man should be her life long love and partner even after a short while dating…

When a man steps over the boundary of what he should and shouldn’t ask of you and want you to do for him when you’re dating… it shows that HE is the one who is UNHEALTHY and doesn’t have his own act together.

Which is why he’s trying to get a woman to make his life better and fix things for him.

He’s acting like a BOY who needs help and looking for a woman to make it all better for him.

If you’ve ever tried taking on all the things that are going wrong in a man’s life and making them better for him… then I don’t have to
tell you all the thousands of ways in which it can only BACKFIRE on you… and leave you feeling completely worn out, angry, and unappreciated.

DON’T FALL INTO THIS TRAP!

So what do you do instead…

The reality is that what you do in the very first few encounters with a man, and on the first several dates has EVERYTHING to do with how a man thinks of you and whether or not he’ll see you as “Relationship Material”.

Of course, you also have to know how to get a man’s attention and interest in the first place,and make sure that you do the things that will make him feel the kind of ATTRACTION for you that will make him have to pursue you and get to know you better.

Building this kind of ATTRACTION inside a man is THE FIRST KEY to attracting the right man for you…

The SECOND KEY is knowing exactly what to do once you found the right guy to keep things moving forward.

Such as when and when not to call him.

And what to say on the first few dates to build his interest in you for more than just a fling.

Or what you MUST AVOID SAYING that is guaranteed to make a man lose interest no matter how he felt about you before. And this is something that most women accidentally say because they think it’s what a man wants to hear and will bring them closer and closer.

Don’t let the right man slip away when he’s finally right in front of you.

And don’t waste any more time using your time, love, and energy in ways that will work against you no matter how great and true your intentions are.

It’s time for you to learn exactly what to say and do with a man to make things work when you finally are ready for them to… and stop wasting your time with the wrong men in the wrong situations, doing the wrong things.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

” I’m sure I don’t have to convince you of the fact that most men rarely communicate directly about how they FEEL.”

In fact, it’s very rare that a man will simply say to you if he’s feeling something intense.

Most men pride themselves on being highly “logical” and self-sufficient to the point where overt or intense emotional displays just aren’tpart of how they communicate.

Now, how many female friends do you have who date men who aren’t very expressive or “open”on an emotional level?

And how many of these men are the kind of men who have always been, and will always be, less emotionally expressive.

It’s just the man’s nature.

I’m about to take you “behind the scenes” in the male mind.

I’m going to give you a perspective that most women never see or realize.

Unfortunately for most women, not seeing things the way I’m about to share with you keeps them trapped in patterns of misunderstanding and unfulfilling relationships with men.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Have you ever heard a man say something like:

“I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”

Or how about this one-

“I want my freedom.”

If you’ve been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you’ve heard this before.

Men say this stuff all the time.

Do you know what a man “really” means when he says these things?

And do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man’s predictable behavior of WITHDRAWALor RESISTANCE?

If not, then it’s time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings… and start paying attention to what’s going on inside his heart and mind.

In the past, when I’d hear my friends, other men, and even myself say, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” I knew that there was something more to it than a just a man who didn’t want a relationship with a woman.

In fact, I found that most of the men who said this quickly ended up in relationships with OTHER WOMEN soon after.

Men I knew well would be telling women they had been dating or in a relationship with that they weren’t ready for all that came with a “real” relationship…

But what did they do as soon as they were single again?

They would start meeting new women, go on dates, and once they found a woman they liked and were very attracted to, they’d spend most of their time with this one woman.

And they would do something else…

They’d stop dating any other women they might have met and move into another relationship, even though they had just ended a relationship with another women they felt strongly for because
they didn’t want a “serious relationship”.

It almost didn’t make sense when I first started to recognize this pattern happening in other men around me.

But keep in mind, even though these things don’t always make sense to women, they make PERFECT sense to the men going through them.

Does this situation with men ever frustrate you or leave you feeling like men have NO CLUE what they’re doing?

Here’s the problem…

When a man says one of these things, he actually MEANS something that is different from what a woman would mean if she said the same words.

Let me explain.

If a woman says “I’m going to stay home and relax today”, she probably means that she’s going to stay home, make sure that her house and life are in order, catch up on chores and bills, and then maybe watch some shows on TV.

If a MAN says that he’s going to stay home and relax, he’s probably going to watch some sports, drink beer, look at pictures of women on the internet, and order take out food.

Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don’t mean what they SOUND like they mean.

So, the FIRST thing that you have to get through your head is that just because a man SAYS something to you, it doesn’t mean always mean what you THINK it means.

Following me here?

Good. Because people make giant assumptions every day and play a dangerous game of what I call “Fill In The Gaps”.

This is where a woman fills in the lines between the lines in order to come to her own conclusions about what a man was really saying and feeling.

Of course, if you’re still in the place in your life or in your relationship where you’re playing the “Fill In The Gaps” game… then the painful reality is that you still haven’t learned how to get to the meaning of what a man is saying to you simply through the everyday COMMUNICATION you share.

Which means… you’re forever locked in the dangerous game of trying to constantly guess what a man is thinking and feeling with you.

And sooner rather than later the man in your life is going become tired, annoyed and completely TURNED OFF by the way you and he talk… and he’s going to stop enjoying being around you altogether.

Yikes!

THE BIG SECRET HE ISN’T TELLING YOU

There’s a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a woman, why they date, and what it means for them to have a relationship.

Unfortunately, for the good women who arem trying to create a great relationship with a man… and hoping that if they try hard enough to make him happy with them he’ll stay… this
little secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration.

The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman.

BUT… (and this is an important insight it might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to start to understand for yourself)

Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to.

And they’ll only end up emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.

In other words, if a man says, “I need to be alone right now”, what he REALLY means is:

I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I’m with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man.

The REALITY is that when a man says one of these “I want my freedom” statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won’t make it feel like “work” when he’s with her.

A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship… instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry, and “fix” things.

The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call ATTRACTION… and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don’t often like or know how to deal with that comes from “working” on a serious relationship.

For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the definition of a good relationship.

Of course, I’m not just talking about the common “short term” kind of attraction that’s mostly physical…

You already know that a relationship takesa whole lot more than just this kind of thing to work and LAST.

I’m also talking about the more “long term” kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and understanding.

A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great both when he’s with her… AND when he’s alone.

In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time.

But most men either can’t describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don’t WANT to have to describe it to a woman, because they want a woman who already IS those things… without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, “Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn…” or would you want one that already KNEW how to protect and defend anytime, anywhere without having to “learn”?

Duh.

Well, the same goes with men.

They don’t WANT a woman they have to train.

The last thing a man wants to do, or thinksis possible, is to take a woman who DOESN’T “naturally” understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work.

If you don’t already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you “get” all these things, then no amount of “talking things through” or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.

THE MISTAKE MOST WOMEN MAKE

Now, there’s a common and often irreversible mistake that women make with men when they’re dating and in relationships.

Let me ask you…

If you wanted to get closer to a man, have him see you as a great person, develop a strong connection, and get him to “open up” with you,then it would makes sense to do and say the things that you know work to create more love and affection, right?

This is the first inclination most women have with men - to do the things that THEY think create love and connection.

What if a man did this with you?

What if he decided that you worked the way he did, and so he decided to come up to you and start talking about sex, sports, and quickly get close to you physically?

A man might quickly be drawn in by a woman who did these things (not for all the right reasons, of course), but that doesn’t mean he should be trying them with a woman if he wants
any kind of success.

In other words, the things that work FOR YOU as a woman are NOT what work for a MAN.

Thinking this way couldn’t lead to worse results in dating situations and relationships.

But TONS of women use this tactic of what I call “Selfish Love”. They treat a man the way they would want to be treated if they were going to share love and connection with a man.

Another common mistake women make is taking something that a man SAYS that he wants and doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if “A little bit is
good, then more must be better”.

For instance, a man SAYS to you that he likes women who are physical and affectionate”. So you start touching him all the time, grab his hand and hold it everywhere you go, and always stay right next to him.

Then what happens?

He leaves you for his ex-girlfriend after telling you he feels like you’re too “needy”.

Huh? What’s going on here?

This would be kind of like a woman saying, “My favorite food is chocolate” and a man thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it’s her favorite… or adding chocolate to every single dish he makes for her from now on… and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be OTHER FOOD.

Let me land the plane for you.

Men don’t MEAN what you THINK they mean when they talk about what they want and don’t want.

And if you take the things men say too literally, you’re going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN…

So let me “decode” what men “really” mean when they say common things.

Consider this your own personal “male language translator”. Refer to it often.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I don’t want a serious relationship right now.”
WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I ONLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP with a woman who already has her act together, is attractive, healthy, independent, easy-going, confident, and who is emotionally in control of herself
and her own life. When we’re together I want her to share her feelings and challenge and inspire me to keep her love and interest and be a great man… but I also want her to know how to do this without trying to change me or turning our relationship into MORE WORK and LESS FUN than I can have on my own.”

Does this make sense?

Again, he’s NOT imagining a picture of an overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is trying to get him to connect with her and sharing her feelings because she’s so worried about things “working out”.

Big difference.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I want an independent woman.”

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a woman who doesn’t get upset about petty things and who knows how to keep herhead when things get tough or confusing. But I also want her to be in touch with her feelings
so that:

1) She doesn’t repress her emotions and end up more frustrated and resentful of me, and…

2) When she’s alone and intimate with me, she’s open and “present”… and she’ll share her love and affection freely”

What a man is NOT doing is making a picture of a passive woman who’s entire mood and state of mind is dependent on what she thinks is the state of her relationship and what it means that a man did or said something.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

“I want a guy who’s a good communicator.”

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a guy who doesn’t talk all the time,because he knows how to let me know what’s on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand… not crudely and man-like.”

WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH
A WOMAN

You might not see this right now, but for most men, there’s nothing more important than knowing that he makes a woman feel great when she’s with him.

Seriously.

Think “ego”.

If you think this truth about men through,you’ll start to have a shift in perspective and see something you’ve probably never seen before.

When a woman comes to a man and wants to talk about something she thinks is wrong in their relationship, often times a man gets upset. Not because he doesn’t want to listen to the woman or talk…

But because it’s difficult for him to come to terms with the idea that the woman could be unhappy with him.

A man thinks, “It makes me feel like less of a man since I don’t make her happy. If she’s unhappy, then somewhere inside I must not be good enough.”

Imagine if a man was constantly expressing his feelings about your relationship to you that seemed disappointed and frustrated.

How would it make you feel?

Sure, as a woman you might think to yourself that you’d talk to him about it and try and make things better…

But the reality is that you’d start to have one of 2 things come into your mind either consciously or unconsciously:

1. Something really is wrong with YOU and the way you are in the relationship, and he’s trying to tell you

2. Something is wrong with HIM and how HE thinks and feels that has nothing to do with you, and it’s his own “bad thinking” about HIMSELF that’s making him obsessively unhappy

The reality is, either way, a whole lot MORE DISTANCE is created between you two.

Now, lots of women draw the conclusion that this means you should try and pretend things are ok when they’re not.

That when you’re not having the physical and emotional connection with a man you know is possible, that you can’t communicate how you feel with a man.

WRONG.

My point: If you want to learn how to connect with a man on a deeper level, then what you say isn’t the most IMPORTANT thing.

It’s how and when you say it.

I’ll talk to you again soon and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Have you ever felt “magic” with a man?

Where the connection and chemistry you and he share is so strong that something inside tells you that it’s something special and real?

You both can’t stop thinking about each other and your lives start to “naturally” fall into sync.

So let me ask you…

Have you ever noticed that when you’re really connected with a man that you both can actually start to feel and experience what each other are going through?

It’s like your minds are connected somehow.

Well, have you ever thought about what that “magic” connection that you have is, and how it works?

Or how you could use it more to improve your relationship?

Good. You and I are in sync too.

Now, let’s get into using the incredible and unique power of using your own INTUITION to connect with a man on a deeper level and build the level of intimacy and attraction he feels with you…

Tell me if any of the following seem strangely familiar to you:

-He starts acting restless and talking about how he isn’t really ready to “settle down” and wants his “freedom”

-He tells you that he didn’t see things getting “serious” so fast

-He doesn’t make an effort to connect with you, give you praise or attention, and stops sharing any personal thoughts or feelings

-He stops making you a priority. He wants to spend all of his time with friends or other people and doesn’t value time together anymore

-He never initiates anymore. He isn’t as physically excited and into you as he was at first

-He starts flirting, talking to or even hanging out with other women

Recognize any of these?

Ouch, right?

So what in the world can you do about it when a man is acting so withdrawn and closed off like in these situations above?

Well, tell me…

Did you ever sense any of these things coming before they happened, or when they started, but you didn’t have any “proof”?

Fascinating how that works.

What’s going on here?

Well, what’s happening centers around an important idea I want you to understand-

That you instinctively know more about what’s going on in the world around you than you or your conscious mind fully recognizes.

So here’s the deal…

You ALREADY HAVE a magical ability inside you that comes up for you every once in a while.

So all you have to do is learn how to consciously tune into it.

This “magic” is what we also refer to sometimes as INTUITION.

So how does it work and what is it?

In short, intuition is something that comes “pre-wired” in your brain.

The way your conscious and subconscious mind is hooked up to the rest of your complex body systems and senses make it possible.

So the good news is that this ability is there for you anytime you want to use it.

But the bad news is that you have to take time to fully tune into it and recognize your ability.

It a kind of “practice”.

Music is a good way to explain it.

You can’t just pick up an instrument and start playing, right?

But once you start to become more aware of the instrument, the music and how to play, things startto naturally fall into place.

And soon sounds, melodies and rhythms just start to flow out of you in the moment.

Like they appear out of thin air, and nothing could feel more natural.

And your mind is able to process all the information coming at it that used to overload it.

But now it can take it all in and use it to actually ANTICIPATE what’s next.

Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical ability of yours called intuition is like.

Your mind is constantly picking up on information from your environment, even when you’re not really conscious of it.

And all that information is being “processed” over and over to try and calculate the risk, danger, and expectations from your environment to try to find a way towards the outcome you want.

So let’s get to it.

THE MAGIC POWER OF YOUR INTUITION

USING YOUR INTUITION WITH MEN

Using your intuition might be the best, and in some situations, the ONLY way, that you’ll be able to know what’s really going on inside the mind of a man.

And even better, the best way to find a way to help him understand YOU and your feelings.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, and I can hear it now…

“You mean I have to give some understanding in order to get it?”

Ummmm, yeah. You do.

It’s called maturity.

And if you’re completely honest, I think you’ll remember that deep down even YOU don’t always know exactly what your feelings mean or how to make sense of it all.

So how do you expect a man to take in the small part of your feelings that you can explain with words and understand and relate to you?

Here’s an answer to get you started-

Use your intuition and let it guide you.

So how do you do that?

I’m going to give you a short-cut guide to getting in touch with your intuition.

That way, you can start getting the benefits of understanding and becoming understood.

SIX-STEPS FOR USING YOUR INTUITION WITH A MAN

Step 1: Clear Your Mind Of Fear And Doubt

Some women end up worrying almost obsessively that something is wrong or going badly with a guy they’re interested in or dating once they see some negative sign or pattern.

And once this happens, they want to know what’s going on so intently, and often expectthe bad, so they let their negative thoughts take over.

If you want to be able to use your intuition, you need to start interrupting that voice in your head that’s the “fear-monger”.

You know the one - that voice that’s always worrying just to try and keep you safe and protected. And to predict all the bad things you’ve seen and felt before so that you don’t have to go through them again.

The thing is, you can’t find the truth in a situation if you and your mind is buried inside your mind in fears and doubts.

Step 2: Accept That Men Don’t Make “Sense”

All those frustrating things that men do that don’t make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE.

Stop trying to make sense of them.

Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and will only make you frustrated.

To learn about things you don’t already know, like intuitive ideas, you have to have to look with a different set of eyes - not
the same ones you always use for yourself.

Step 3: You Can’t Figure Everything Out

Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold?

Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are impossible to analyze and figure out.

So…

EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does.

If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you’ll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation - along with an increase in your own self-confidence.

And guess what? This ends up being VERY UNIQUEand very ATTRACTIVE when a man sees and senses that you can be confident and “centered” in those times where other women he knows have acted a little “too emotional” for him.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s OK for a man to do whatever he wants, and that you should accept any negative and withdrawing behaviors without having your own feelings about it -and “pretending” it’s all ok.

But the more relaxed and positive you think and feel around these things, no matter what the man is doing, the sooner you’ll stop fighting everything in your mind and start creating better
situations for yourself.

It’s frustrating and counterintuitive, but accepting what’s going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation.

There’s a funny thing about the way the world works… and especially about how men are when it comes to relationships with women-

Step 4: Listen For More Than Words

Intuition doesn’t talk in straight answers,or in plain logical English.

It’s much more abstract.

Your intuition talks to you through feelings, images, and bodily sensations such as “gut feelings”.

Most people, especially women I know, are usually in an open and relaxed state when they get intuitive gut feelings and understandings.

If you don’t think you have a strong intuitive sense, simply try asking yourself more questions and keep them mulling around
in your mind.

When you’ve got something in the back of your mind, something amazing happens without you even trying.

Your brain takes notice and uses all your senses to find any sign or trace of information that relates to your questions as you go about your day.

It’s kind of like a search running in the background on your computer - even though you’re doing something else it doesn’t stop looking.

After you’ve asked your questions, your mind will start sending you ideas, feelings and images without you even thinking about it.

But sometimes it usually takes more time than you’d like.

Finally, your intuitive voice will eventually just pop up and start to give you hints and information without you even asking for it.

And then it’s up to you to pay attention, acknowledge it and make good use of it.

The huge mistake too many women make is when they get intuitive messages that they don’t like, or that scare them.

When this happens, a mature Woman will look at the intuitive message she’s getting and go to a place of figuring out how she can use the message she’s getting in a constructive way for herself - and for her relationship.

Step 5: Ask Your Intuition Questions

One of my favorite things to do is to train and tune my intuition with each new person I meet.

And I’ve personally found that body language has become the thing that gives me special intuitive hints about people and situations.

If you’re new to using your intuition or you’re concerned with if or how to act on it, start with smaller things that might be less important.

Like whether or not you should go away for the weekend or if your friend will like the gift you’ve been thinking about for them.

That way, you can be practicing and learn to use your intuition without doing it in high-risk or high-pressure situations.

This will help you develop your abilities and become more comfortable to trust what you find.

One of the areas that lots of women have the most problems using their intuition andtuning into where the man in their life is
really at is in UNCOMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS.

Step 6: Act With The “Long-Term” In Mind

Years ago I had a huge learning experience when it came to using and listening to my intuition in the right way.

The situation came up when I was worried that a few people I worked with, who were my managers at the time, we’re talking about me and scrutinizing my work more closely than they had
before.

Feeling and sensing the scrutiny, I immediately felt worried about my job and wondered if they were thinking about letting me go.

The company had lain off several employees a few months before, so I began to think that their extra attention to my work must have something to do with another round of cost-cutting.

Anyways, aside from my own professional insecurities at the time, my gut told me that something bad was coming.

So what should I do, I asked myself.

I was really worried.

I decided to push myself even harder at work to try and show them how valuable I was in hopes that I would keep my job.

But that uncomfortable and nervous feeling in my stomach that came with my intuition about their scrutiny of my work stayed with me for the next several weeks.

Well, it turns out that my managers were watching me and judging my performance. But it wasn’t for the reasons I feared.

A few weeks later I was called into a meeting with the managers who had been watching me closely.

Walking down the hall to the meeting, I had a lump in my throat and a turning stomach.

My intuition was leading me to the conclusion that this was it - I was sure that I was about to be fired for the first time in my life.

I couldn’t believe it.

So I walked into the meeting feelings anxious, defensive and tense.

As I sat down, one of my managers could immediately sense my discomfort and asked me what was wrong.

Without provocation, I immediately started defending my job and showing my insecurities.

My emotions got the best of me and I even said a few negative things about the managers themselves, as I wanted to place what I saw as equal blame on the managers for the companies problems.

Luckily, they finally stopped me before I didtoo much damage.

Then they let me know that they had been watching my performance because they wanted to put me in charge of a new division.

They wanted to be confident in their decision so they paid extra attention to my work to be sure- and now they were.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my mood completely changed.

End of story.

Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me so that I’d be aware of what was going on.

But the mistake I made was taking that information and using it to justify my own fears and insecurities.

If I would have taken the information, been patient with it and applied it towards my goals in a positive context, then the entire experience knowing that the managers were watching my work
would have been different.

Maybe even productive for me.

But I didn’t use my intuition to see my way to something better. I simply used it as a means to worry and stress myself out over my own fears. So all this talk about intuition.

How does it really apply to the men in your life, dating and relationships?

Well, take a man with some of those common negative male behaviors-

-fear of intimacy
-inability to commit
-flirting, cheating
-withdrawal

Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real psychological and emotional “stuff” that’s hiding beneath the surface.

So all this talk about intuition.

Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real psychological and emotional “stuff” that’s hiding beneath the surface.

Your intuition could even help you cut through a man’s ego and persona to get to the real person that’s often hard to find.

Intuition is probably the best tool for being able to identify good and bad qualities in a man.

Intuition and understanding is the “learning to read” of the dating and relationship experience.

In other words, don’t go through your life emotionally illiterate and stumbling over every feeling that pops up and every man who acts out around you.

Learn to read what’s going on for yourself and know what’s important and what’s not.

The rest will start to take care of itself.

Go here to check out all the details on my ebook and how you can download it and be reading in just a few minutes from now.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Have you found that your relationships with men take you to a “better place”?

Or do you find that you ultimately end up feeling “drained” and let down with men and relationships because the same patterns keep popping up and repeating?

Patterns such as:

-Having a man be loving and affectionate with you at first, but then pulling away when you get close, or things start to get “serious”

-Losing touch with everything else in your life besides the man you’re with and your relationship. (This includes neglecting your
friends, family, hobbies, passions, etc.)

-Always being the one to “carry” your relationship and doing all “the work”

-Being too busy or tired to actively pursue YOUR DREAMS and what makes YOU happy?

Recognize anything here?

Here’s the tough thing about these kinds of patterns…

Not only do these kinds of things reveal a lot about the things you’re not so crazy about in men that aren’t going away… but they also end up bringing out the worst in you.

I mean, how many times have you looked backon a past relationship and, only after it’s over,have you been able to finally see the things you were doing wrong?

LIVING YOUR “BEST LIFE” AND BREAKING YOUR OLD PATTERNS WITH MEN & RELATIONSHIPS

Ever feel like your relationship, or the state of mind the man you’re with is “holding you back”?

Or that the fact that you DON’T have the right man in your life is limiting you?

Lots of women feel this way, where there’s something that relates to a relationship with a man that’s keeping them from being truly happy and fulfilled.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

What do you think? Can you really find the right man for you online?

“I heard an amazing story the other night as I was talking to a friend over dinner…My friend was telling me about a great friend of hers who had been single and alone for the last 3 years after a tough divorce.

Oh, and this month they’re about to go for a little “get-away” to the South of France where they’ll spend tons of time together in a gorgeous romantic setting.

And this is just one of MANY STORIES of great women who have finally met the right man for them online - without much effort at all once they figured out what worked online.

I could tell you literally hundreds more stories like this from the research and time I’ve spent over the last year getting to know if and how online dating can truly help women like you find love online.

And here’s the 2 pieces of GOOD NEWS I have for you:

1) Online dating can be MUCH EASIER than you think

2) Right now it’s YOUR TURN to quickly and easily find the right guy for you

Don’t wait around like Cindy did initially.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter