Tell me if this has ever happened to you…

You’re with this great guy, but he seems to be doing something that’s not so great in your relationship.

And it’s starting to bother you.

A lot.

At first you tell yourself that it’s no big deal, and you try and be the “bigger person” and overlook it.

But eventually it gets to you that he doesn’t see what’s going on… and he doesn’t seem to be paying much attention or care the way you do.

So you want to say something to him, but the right time never seems to come.

Then one day he does something that, in other circumstances, wouldn’t be such a big deal.

But since you’ve been holding on to all these other feelings and carrying them around inside for so long… something happens that surprises even you-

You completely lose your composure, and you let him have it.

Maybe you yell.

Maybe you cry.

Or maybe you become completely withdrawn and cold as ice.

Whatever you do, it’s INTENSE.

You can actually feel all the emotions you’ve been carrying around well up and pour out of you in this moment.

And once you get started, you can’t stop.

It ALL comes out as you get totally carried away with your feelings and emotions.

Afterwards, you feel a sense of relief because it feels good getting things off your chest. And you know that it’s good to share your feelings and be honest because it can bring you and a man closer.

But not so fast…

The man in your life doesn’t act like he feels any closer to you now that you’ve shared how you feel with him.

Instead of him understanding you better, he’s completely WITHDRAWN.

Arrrggh!

Here’s something you can do about this kind of frustrating situation with a man right now:

If you find that your emotions get the best of you when you try and talk honestly with the man in your life and it’s tearing you apart…

Or…

If you find that your fears and emotions are keeping you from attracting the right man and getting a great relationship started in the first place, then there’s something you need to do-

You need to quickly get yourself into the right state of mind where the man for you will be naturally drawn to you and your unique “energy”.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, he will sense the mental and emotional “state” you’re in… and he’ll either instantly “feel it” for you, or he won’t.

And sure, if you don’t know what to say or do you’ll have a hard time as well.

But if you’re not coming from the right place as a woman inside… then it won’t matter
what you say or do with a man.

He will hear how you are FEELING louder than anything else.

And if you’re feeling scared, insecure, or uncertain… then he won’t want to get any closer to you.

Instead, he’ll want to get away from you.

So you’ve lost your composure with a man and let fly a whole bunch of feelings that were bottled up inside you… and now he’s acting totally different.

He won’t even talk to you now, and he acts like talking to you is the very last thing on Earth he wants to do.

But wait a second…

He was the one doing the things that upset you or bothered you in the first place. And now that you talk about them and finally get to share your feelings, he pulls away from you!?

What gives?

Before I tell you what’s going on here with a man, I’ve got to be honest with you about
what it really takes to have the kind of loving and honest relationship you probably want where you can share exactly how you feel with a man.

The truth is, you’ll NEVER be able to CONTROL what a man does, or what he decides to do.

Ever.

And if you try, it’s going to mess things up even worse for you and it will backfire.

If you’ve ever tried to change a man, or “fix” him, or convince him to think or feel differently about things in your relationship, then you’ve probably spent a lot of time feeling
like you’re beating your head against a brick wall.

You already know that trying to TALK to a man and get him to think or feel differently when it comes to problems in your relationship RARELY gets you the outcome you want.

But lots of women accidentally fall into this trap.

And without knowing how or why, they find themselves trying to change a man, get him to think or act different, and generally “control” him.

I’ll say this as plainly as I can.

When it comes to men and relationships – this NEVER works.

Ever.

And that’s why trying to get a man to change, think differently, or feel differently in a relationship isn’t the way to a more certain, joyful, lasting love life or relationship.

Now, does this mean that a man can’t or won’t change what he wants, or the way he feels about you and your relationship?

Absolutely not.

Men do complete 180 degree changes in a matter of days or weeks with women ALL THE TIME.

In fact, I was just talking with two good female friends of mine and both of their husbands didn’t want a serious relationship when they were first dating.

So what did these two smart and amazing women do?

Well, first they remembered that they love themselves MORE than they love their relationship.

Which for some women seems like it would mean acting “bitchy” or selfish.

It doesn’t.

Because they loved themselves enough to know that they were amazing loveable women.. they did NOT go into the panic stricken “fix it” mode that so many women go into when they hear their guy isn’t ready for more.

They were able to ACCEPT how their man was feeling.

The second thing they did was simply tell their boyfriend (future husband) that they didn’t see the relationship going anywhere that worked for them because he didn’t want what they wanted… and that they wanted more.

*Note here – they didn’t plead with them. They didn’t complain. And they didn’t try and fix or change him and tell him in so many ways that how he felt was wrong.

So… what do you think happened for both of these women with the men in their lives who weren’t interested in anything “serious”?

The men said, “Ok, I guess it’s over” and their relationships ended.

And the women simply walked away.

Oh no!

But wait… (and here’s where it gets good)

What do you think happened next?

Both of these men ended up calling about 10 to 12 days later.

And guess what? Both of them were suddenly 100% certain and ready about moving forward in their relationship.

So let me ask you…

Did these women try and get the men they were with to love them and be with them by pleading with them, complaining about what was wrong, or trying to CONVINCE them?

No. But this is exactly what most women instinctively do when a man starts showing any sign that he isn’t totally engaged in their relationship – they get scared by it and try all kinds of weak and convincing behaviors to try and change the way he feels.

Hopefully you’re starting to get the fact that a man is NEVER going to change the way he FEELS because you don’t like how it makes you feel.

Men can change in what they want and what they feel… but the REASON THEY CHANGE rarely, if ever, is because a woman asks them to.

A man will change when HE wants to… when he has the time and opportunity to find HIS OWN REASONS to change.

And no matter how smart and intuitive or insightful a woman is, and no matter how “right” she is about what’s going on… a man still has to change for his own reasons.

Now that you’re up to speed on the subtle dynamic that keeps so many women chasing men while pushing them farther away… I want to get back to what’s going on with YOU.

Here’s a quick question for you…

Do you think there’s something going on inside you that’s keeping you from being the very best you?

Is there something about the way that you feel inside, or the way you react when you’re around a man that not only doesn’t help you and isn’t serving you… but is actually driving a good man away without you meaning for it to?

One of the most amazing things in life that I’m personally fascinated with is what I call “blind spots”.

These are the things that others see and feel when they’re around us that we can’t seem to see about ourselves. Even when other people try to tell us or show us.

We all have these of our own.

The question is… what are your “blind spots” with men?

And how much are the things you aren’t even aware of getting in your way right now?

If you’re like lots of women who keep repeating the same relationship patterns over and over with the same kind of men… then the reality is that you have some pretty big blind spots right now.

Ones that you haven’t been able to see or recognize about yourself for YEARS.

Which means that odds are, you aren’t going to become aware of them anytime soon.

That is, unless you get a little help.

Your very first step to stop accidentally pushing love away from you is to accept your part in love’s creation… and in love’s destruction.

The truth is that it’s YOUR BELIEFS about love and how it works that has played the greatest part in keeping you from its fullest expression in yourself and others around you.

Accepting your part will give you back your personal power to create and share Love.

Your second step is to look at what is making you unhappy and evaluate if this “work” you are putting in- is it for this person you are dating, or the possibility of what YOU want him to be?

Are you trying to change him, or subtly convince him to be different than who he really is?

What if a man was constantly communicating to you that the woman you really were wasn’t good enough for him, and that you needed to change to make him happy?

This isn’t a solid or healthy foundation for a real or lasting relationship.

Remember my two amazing married friends who stopped wanting things to be different, and instead accepted the men they were with for who they really were, and how they felt?

Their relationships ended… only to be recreated in a way that had the man truly engaged and committed. And the rest was history.

Of course, you can’t fake your way through this kind of thing with a man.

You can’t want a man to change for you, and feel scared and insecure about yourself and your future… and then tell a man that things aren’t working as a manipulation and get him to suddenly change for you.

You have to genuinely be in the right place inside and have this be your “truth” for your relationship to become TRANSFORMED and GROW as a result.

Doing this out of fear and anxiety will only backfire and the man will leave and never call again.

That’s why your third step here is to make sure you start to discover all the blind spots that are keeping you from what you want.

The funny thing about this is that the act of starting to find and identify your own personal “blind spots”, and then HEALING them is what is going to put you in that magical emotional state that will draw the right man to you and make him want to stay with you.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter