Entries Tagged 'Common Problems' ↓

Here’s what your man is trying to tell you…

I hope you’re sitting down… because what I’m about to share with you will change how you view men, dating, and relationships.

I’m about to take you “behind the scenes” in the male mind.

I’m going to give you a perspective that most women never see or realize.

Unfortunately for most women, not seeing things the way I’m about to share with you keeps them trapped in patterns of misunderstanding and unfulfilling relationships with men.

If you pay careful attention to what I’m about to share with you, you’re going to start having more success with men right away, whether you’re single and looking for that right guy… or you’re in a relationship and you’d like to start connecting on a deeper level.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Have you ever heard a man say something like:

“I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”

Or how about this one-

“I want my freedom.”

If you’ve been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you’ve heard this before.

Men say this stuff all the time.

Do you know what a man “really” means when he says these things?

And do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man’s predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE?

If not, then it’s time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings… and start paying attention to what’s going on inside his heart and mind.

In the past, when I’d hear my friends, other men, and even myself say, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” I knew that there was something more to it than a just a man who didn’t want a relationship with a woman.

In fact, I found that most of the men who said this quickly ended up in relationships with OTHER WOMEN soon after.

Men I knew well would be telling women they had been dating or in a relationship with that they weren’t ready for all that came with a “real” relationship…

But what did they do as soon as they were single again?

They would start meeting new women, go on dates, and once they found a woman they liked and were very attracted to, they’d spend most of their time with this one woman.

And they would do something else…

They’d stop dating any other women they might have met and move into another relationship, even though they had just ended a relationship with another women they felt strongly for because they didn’t want a “serious relationship”.

It almost didn’t make sense when I first started to recognize this pattern happening other men around me were in.

But keep in mind, even though these things don’t always make sense to women, they make PERFECT sense to the men going through them.

Does this situation with men ever frustrate you or leave you feeling like men have NO CLUE what they’re doing?

Here’s the problem…

When a man says one of these things, he actually MEANS something that is different from what a woman would mean if she said the same words.

Let me explain.

If a woman says “I’m going to stay home and relax today”, she probably means that he’s going to stay home, make sure that her house and life is in order, catch up on chores and bills, and then maybe watch some shows on tv.

If a MAN says that he’s going to stay home and relax, he’s probably going to watch some sports, drink beer, look at pictures of women on the internet, and order take out food.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks beer, looks at pictures of women on the internet, and orders take out to relax, then contact me immediately at the email address below.

Ok, enough kidding around.

Back to our topic…

Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don’t mean what they SOUND like they mean.

So, the FIRST thing that you have to get through your head is that just because a man SAYS something to you, it doesn’t mean always mean what you THINK it means.

Catch my meaning?

THE BIG SECRET HE ISN’T TELLING YOU

There’s a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a woman, why they date, and what it means for them to have a relationship.

Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a great relationship with a man… and hoping that if they try hard enough to make him happy with them so he’ll stay… this little secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration.

The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman.

BUT… (and this is an important insight it might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to start to understand for yourself)

Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to.

And they’ll only end up emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.

In other words, if a man says, “I need to be alone right now”, what he REALLY means is:

I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I’m with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man.

The REALITY is that when a man says one of these “I want my freedom” statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won’t make it feel like “work” when he’s with her.

A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship… instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry, and “fix” things.

The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call ATTRACTION… and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don’t often like or know how to deal with that comes from “working” on a serious relationship.

For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of a good relationship.

Of couse, I’m not just talking about the common “short term” kind of attraction that’s mostly physical…

You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more than just this kind of thing to work and LAST.

I’m also talking about the more “long term” kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and understanding.

A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great both when he’s with her… AND when he’s alone.

In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time.

But most men either can’t describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don’t WANT to have to describe it to a woman, because they want a woman who already IS those things… without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, “Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn…” or would you want one that already KNEW how to protect and defend anytime, anywhere without having to “learn”?

Duh.

Well, the same goes with men.

They don’t WANT a woman they have to train.

The last thing a man wants to do, or thinks is possible, is to take a woman who DOESN’T “naturally” understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work.

If you don’t already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you “get” all these things, then no amount of “talking things through” or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.

WHAT IS A “COOL GIRL”?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of a “Cool Girl”.

You hear most men using the term, and some women.

Men everywhere, without ever having talked to each other, share a common idea about women and use the term “Cool Girl” universally.

In some places the actual words are different, but the idea is the same.

But what does it actually MEAN?

And is it important that men all have this common belief about women?

Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic.

At this point, I believe that a COOL GIRL is this “ideal” that men imagine when they’re saying “I want my freedom”.

They’re thinking of the COOL GIRL, and then they’re imagining themselves with a woman who is this way.

There are a lot of aspects to this COOL GIRL.

Here are a few that are important:

-Lack of Insecurities
-”Easygoing-ness”
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Independent
-Emotionally “balanced”

…and the list goes on.

It’s actually not easy to describe a COOL GIRL in a few sentences… but the truth is that a man can recognize one INSTANTLY.

For more on exactly what a COOL GIRL is, how they naturally communicate with men in a way that makes men think, “This is the kind of woman that I can see myself committing and staying with”…

Then check out my “Catch Him & Keep Him” eBook.

Not only does it describe how men think when it comes to dating and why they commit to and stay in relationships with women… but it shows you how to start interacting with men and create a deeper gut-level emotional attraction with a man IMMEDIATELY.

You can download it here and be reading it in just a minute:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.com/catchhimandkeephim

THE MISTAKE MOST WOMEN MAKE

Now, there’s a common and often irreversible mistake that women make with men when they’re dating and in relationships.

Let me ask you…

If you wanted to get closer to a man, have him see you as a great person, develop a strong connection, and get him to “open up” with you, then it would makes sense to do and say the things that you know work to create more love and affection, right?

This is the first inclination most women have with men - to do the things that THEY think create love and connection.

What if a man did this with you?

What if he decided that you worked the way he did, and so he decided to come up to you and start talking about sex, sports, and quickly get close to you physically?

A man might quickly be drawn in by a woman who did these things (not for all the right reasons, of course), but that doesn’t mean he should be trying them with a woman if he wants any kind of success.

In other words, the things that work FOR YOU as a woman are NOT what work for a MAN.

Thinking this way couldn’t lead to worse results in dating situations and relationships.

But TONS of women use this tactic of what I call “Selfish Love”. They treat a man the way they would want to be treated if they were going to share love and connection with a man.

Another common mistake women make is taking something that a man SAYS that he wants and doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if “A little bit is good, then more must be better”.

For instance, a man SAYS to you that he likes women who are physical and affectionate”. So you start touching him all the time, grab his hand and hold it everywhere you go, and always stay right next to him.

Then what happens?

He leaves you for his ex-girlfriend after telling you he feels like you’re too “needy”.

Huh? What’s going on here?

This would be kind of like a woman saying, “My favorite food is chocolate” and a man thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it’s her favorite… or adding chocolate to every single dish he makes for her from now on… and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be OTHER FOOD.

Let me land the plane for you.

Men don’t MEAN what you THINK they mean when they talk about what they want and don’t want.

And if you take the things men say too literally, you’re going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN…

So let me “decode” what men “really” mean when they say common things.

Consider this your own personal “male language translator”. Refer to it often.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I don’t want a serious relationship right now.”

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I ONLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP with a woman who already has her act together, is attractive, healthy, independent, easy-going, confident, and who is emotionally in control of herself and her own life. When we’re together I want her to share her feelings and challenge and inspire me to keep her love and interest and be a great man… but I also want her to know how to do this without trying to change me or turning our relationship into MORE WORK and LESS FUN than I can have on my own.”

Does this make sense?

Again, he’s NOT imagining a picture of an overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is trying to get him to connect with her and sharing her feelings because she’s so worried about things “working out”.

Big difference.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I want an indepedent woman.”

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a woman who doesn’t get upset about petty things and who knows how to keep her head when things get tough or confusing. But I also want her to be in touch with her feelings so that:

1) She doesn’t repress her emotions and end up more frustrated and resentful of me, and
2) When she’s alone and intimate with me, she’s open and “present”… and she’ll share her love and affection freely”

What a man is NOT doing is making a picture of a passive woman who’s entire mood and state of mind is dependent on what she thinks is the state of her relationship and what it means that a man did or said something.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

“I want a guy who’s a good communicator.”

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a guy who doesn’t talk all the time, because he knows how to let me know what’s on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand… not crudely and man-like.”

WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH A WOMAN

You might not see this right now, but for most men, there’s nothing more important than knowing that he makes a woman feel great when she’s with him.

Seriously.

Think “ego”.

If you think this truth about men through, you’ll start to have a shift in perspective and see something you’ve probably never seen before.

When a woman comes to a man and wants to talk about something she thinks is wrong in their relationship, often times a man gets upset not because he doesn’t want to listen to the woman or talk…

But because it’s difficult for him to come to terms with the idea that the woman could be unhappy with him.

A man thinks, “It makes me feel like less of a man since I don’t make her happy. If she’s unhappy, then I somewhere inside I must not be good enough.”

Imagine if a man was constantly expressing his feelings about your relationship to you that seemed disappointed and frustrated.

How would it make you feel?

Sure, as a woman you might think to yourself that you’d talk to him about it and try and make things better…

But the reality is that you’d start to have one of 2 things come into your mind either consciously or unconsciously:

1. Something really is wrong with YOU and the way you are in the relationship, and he’s trying to tell you

2. Something is wrong with HIM and how HE thinks and feels that has nothing to do with you, and it’s his own “bad thinking” about HIMSELF that’s making him obsessively unhappy

The reality is, either way, a whole lot MORE DISTANCE is created between you two.

Now, lots of women draw the conclusion that this means you should try and pretend things are ok when they’re not.

That when you’re not having the physical and emotional connection with a man you know is possible, that you can’t communicate how you feel with a man.

WRONG.

My point: If you want to learn how to connect with a man on a deeper level, then what you say isn’t the most IMPORTANT thing.

It’s how and when you say it.

I’ll tell you something -

Learning the secrets of communicating with a man and creating a deep level of Physical and “Emotional Attraction” can be very rewarding.

A lot of women know EXACTLY what it’s like to be in a relationship with a man who has NO INTENTION of committing to something more serious.

In other words, he’s not feeling that powerful gut-level ATTRACTION for you that makes all the fear and excuses for NOT being with you and building a great life and partnership go away without RESISTANCe.

Do you know how to make a man FEEL this way when he’s with you.

Or are you still trying to “CONVINCE” him with words and your own knowledge and “logic” that a close, loving, lasting relationship with him will make him and you happy together?

Well, let me tell you…

Just like all the other things that a man “says” that he wants and doesn’t want with a woman… that most women don’t ever “get”, being the woman a man is NATURALLY ATTRACTED to on a deep level is one of the BIG ONES.

This kind of attraction is THE thing that will make a man who “says” he doesn’t want a serious relationship beg a woman for a real commitment and a future together.

If you understand the secrets of how attraction works for a man, you will notice that men will start to behave VERY differently around you.

Your friend,

Christian Carter

I’d like to tell you a story…

It’s a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don’t be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very attracted to a particular man.

At first, he was just another attractive man… but the more she got to know him, the more she began to feel attracted to him… and the more time she spent with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for him.

But there was one problem.

As her emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, she also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because she couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same way towards her.

Sometimes he would talk to her and say things that led her to believe that they shared a special connection, but nothing ever progressed past the “friendship” stage.

There was an occasional glance, an occasional email or call from him… and a few times, he even opened up about something personal or emotional, and invited her “inside” for a little while.

But something was wrong with the picture.

He just wasn’t acting like a man who was “falling in love”. He was acting like a friend, but at times, even more distant than a friend would be.

And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes he would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes he would ignore her and close himself off.

The insecurity that she felt from all this, became a spiral that amplified itself… and the more insecure she became, the more afraid she grew of #8220;screwing things up” or “scaring him off”, by starting conversations or asking him if he was interested in her and why he didn’t ask her out.

Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time he seemed to want to spend with her.

After spending days and nights obsessing over this guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would feel the same way.

So she made a bold move.

She TOLD HIM how she felt.

She confessed her feelings and let him know that she wanted to be with him.

He responded by flirting with her and he spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed and held each other.

But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn’t call her and wasn’t really “available” to her.

This only confused the woman more.

She didn’t know how to take it…

Did it mean that he really loved her too, but that he was afraid of something?

Did it mean that he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?

Did it mean that he didn’t love her, and that he was trying to give her a hint?

Did it mean that she hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?

She finally decided that she couldn’t go on like this anymore… she had to be with him.

She had to make sure that he knew just how much she wanted to be with him… so she took a big step, bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter… again confessing her feelings.

And then, something unthinkable happened.

Either he didn’t reply at all… (Ouch!)

Or he replied and she connected with him on an emotional and physical level for a brief time, but then he backed away.

Then she called him a couple of times, the following week before reaching him.

He made an excuse about being very busy and said, “I’ll try to give you a call soon, I have to go”… and hung up… but she never got a call back.

Over the following months, the woman tried desperately to understand what went wrong… and what happened.

THE END…

OK, I’m back.

Now, wasn’t that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up writing romance novels…

Now, let’s talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

But I’m not talking about FICTION here.

I’m talking about a story that rings true for lots of women. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for some women?

Because lots of women have been there in one way or another… at one time or another… and many have been there OFTEN in their lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power, is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs… as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it brings back…

Stories and situations like this one, really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me, because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation, I think there is a solution.

It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of WOMEN DON’T GET.

That secret comes down to the reality that if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to confess her love, convince him to like her and court her, BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON’T WORK; they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a woman does to try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her.

They make him run.

All of those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the woman feeling them, to do things that make the man go away.

It sucks!

But it’s a strangely common dynamic, that also takes place inside dating situations and new relationships without women (or men) really being aware of it, and understanding what’s going on.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to you, that I’ll help you avoid this painful situation in your own future…

And maybe you can start to understand what’s going on a little better, if you think about what it’s like when a man you’re NOT attracted to, desperately wants your attention, affection and your time.

Have you ever had a guy pursue you?

As he’s trying to get your attention, approval and affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems to bug you more and make you want to get away.

Even if all he’s doing, is telling you great things about yourself and how he feels about you?

Strange and interesting…

Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction

I’m always fascinated by the idea that we humans don’t always understand the message that we’re communicating to others…

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we’re trying to say.

Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top sexy and wears way to much make-up?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t think that her appearance is communicating the message to men that she thinks it is”…?

Yeah, I have too.

Well, here’s the deal:

If you do something to “let a man know how you feel” … but he isn’t open to the situation at that time, or he isn’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to backfire.

It’s going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I like to call the “Instant Ewww”.

The “Instant Ewww” is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a man feels it, YOU’RE DONE.

It’s over.

It’s like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a man feels the “Instant Ewww”, he’ll start behaving differently.

In short, he’ll back off or even disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the “Instant Ewww”?

I got it from watching WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word “Ewww”, when describing how they felt about a guy that was “confessing his love”… and of course, these were guys that weren’t loved in return by the woman.

Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they’re not attracted to.

Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they create what is often an unconscious barrier in their mind, that closes off communication or contact with her.

And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what’s happening as any ATTRACTION and interest he might have felt, evaporates.

So what causes the “Instant Ewww”?

And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who was trying to be nice… a woman who was giving him attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?

Because if you think about it from HIS perspective, you’ll realize that the moment you do something to “confess”, you’ve created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, men know when they are getting some “special attention” from a woman.

And they usually know it from the beginning.

But now that you’ve started pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.

You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man and make him even more detached from his emotions.

Here’s the thing…

You can’t “make a man like you” or “change how he feels about you”, by doing nice things for him.

Doing “nice” things for a man who isn’t attracted to you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the “Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he’ll perhaps NEVER like you.

Men are the worst at this, by the way.

They make this mistake over and over again in life, because they’re doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They’re doing it, because they don’t have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and you want to make them like you more… and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand…

If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic way, and he doesn’t “feel it” for you, and you do something nice for him, because you want HIM to like you more, it will BACKFIRE… and he will not only NOT like you more, but he will most likely distance himself from you.

Women think that they need to communicate verbally when they like a man… as if that’s part of the necessary process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like him > Tell him you like him > He likes you

Well, remember… if you follow this pattern, yourself, with men who aren’t already ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to BACKFIRE.

If he’s not into you, then it goes like THIS:

He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you like him>He gets the “Instant Ewwws” and withdraws…

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer, is what to do if you’re in a situation where you like a particular guy, but you don’t know if he likes you back.

DON’T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.

Don’t buy him a big gift, do something nice to show him how much you think about him or write him a love letter…

Don’t send him a note to his work that says, “From your secret admirer”.

Don’t call him several times, without hearing from him.

And DON’T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.

If you want to know how he feels about you, do something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts instead of telling him you love him and hearing the crickets chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don’t get heavier than HIM. Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels… and if you don’t know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a man if he’s interested in you in a romantic way, or if you are “his type”, will actually DESTROY the chances that his attraction and interest in you will grow.

Really.

The SECOND answer, is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why men have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you’re doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what’s the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you’d never ask…

Well, I’ve written about attraction before and I’ll write about it again.

In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways to learn how to make man feel ATTRACTION for you.

But above and beyond the meeting and attracting men “stuff”, I also talk about how attraction, communication, psychology and emotions all play into the longer term “stuff” around dating, and creating a solid foundation for a future relationship.

In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to tell you the secrets and truths that lots of women will never know about.

The eBook is called “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

I’ve spent several years now, studying the ways that women (and men) who are “naturals”, communicate using their words, voice tone and body language.

The way they integrate all these, makes them MAGNETIC to be around. And you probably know what I’m talking about, if you know any women who seem “lucky in love”. Where everything involving men seems to come easily and effortlessly to them.

And I’ll tell you… it’s not magic.

You don’t have to be gorgeous or young.

And you don’t have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It’s a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman can learn it if she wants.

But you’re not likely to figure it out by “trial and error”. Many of the keys to making men feel ATTRACTION and want to be around you for the long-term aren’t “obvious”, at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense… and they’re the LAST thing you’d do in a particular situation, if you didn’t know the SECRETS.

For more about these secrets, go check out my eBook.

It’s jam-packed with insights, concepts, tips and secrets.

Go here to check it out:

Thanks and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Keep Themselves From Living The Love Life Of Their Dreams — And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them…

MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”

Do you know any women who want the man they’re dating to behave differently?

Of course you do.

And just like me, I’m sure you have friends who date guys who don’t have much going for them or who don’t treat them very well.

Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy’s shortcomings.

What’s going on here?

It’s actually very simple.

Women (and men) don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day.

Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn’t treat them very well.

Sometimes for months or years…

But why in the world would a woman do that!?

Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper “connection”.

Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the “wrong” guys.

How do I know?

Because I’ve seen it at least a hundred times…

And because I’ve been this guy in the past myself.

Thinking back on past dating and relationships I’ve had, I was selfish and didn’t offer much.

I’m amazed the women put up with me.

But they did…all the while hoping that I would somehow change.

The women I dated hoped I’d change.

The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the “potential” they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them.

The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever…

The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.

And more importantly, I wasn’t even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE.

But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking.

They believed that I could become someone else with them…. and that this would be easy for us both.

Talk about a losing battle.

It doesn’t make a lot of “logical” sense…

But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you’ll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.

MISTAKE #2: Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.

Lot’s of women don’t even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

But does the same apply for men?

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.

As a result, they often don’t understand non-verbal communication as well as women.

And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and “intuition”.

Women don’t seem to remember this about men.

So do men feel sexually attracted to women based just on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.

Looks just happen to be the most obvious way…

But looks are NOT the most powerful.

If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know.

But it’s not an accident.

You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY woman can learn how…

MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man’s attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.

Wrong.

Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want… EVER.

Don’t get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.

You don’t have to act like an “easy” woman for men to like you, and you certainly don’t have to play like he’s some gift to the Earth.

Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.

So if you think that making him more attracted to you means “playing to the man’s fantasies” from the start, think again.

You’ll never succeed by looking for a man’s approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.

MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they “feel” too early on.

Listen…

Attractive, single, successful men are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from women.

Most women don’t realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.

And guess what?

Attractive wen have usually dated a lot of women.

That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything…

It’s a woman who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates.

This signals to the man that you’re just like one of those “clingy” stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can’t control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.

Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax.

There’s a much better way…

MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.

Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”

3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.

That’s great news to women…

Men can’t help it!

You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man’s Character

People aren’t easy to figure out.

Especially men.

The last several years of my life I’ve spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people.

I’ve studied peoples behavior, “inner psychology” and more specifically how they think and act when they’re dating.

From what I’ve seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things.

But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for.

Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they’re first getting to know a man.

They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they’re open to something more serious.

Men are different.

Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockyness and other “indirect” displays of status.

VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he’s ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they’re at.

If you don’t know how to read through the signals men send, then you’ll get the wrong message.

Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.

You can avoid this pain if you learn to indentify a good man from a bad one.

MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I’ve seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled.

And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens.

But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Nothing says “Run!” to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.

And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren’t exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there.

Think, “controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!”

So let me be clear…

I think it’s important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it’s dating, a relationship, whatever.

But if a woman communicates that she’s looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her.

It doesn’t have to be spoken by the woman either…

If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless.

This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.

So what can you do as a woman?

You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more “natural” way, where he’ll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own.

This is the only way it really works for people - male or female.

Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.

But you have to know how to create this situation with a man… and it rarely happens by accident.

MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like… but he’s just not that interested or isn’t as serious?

Right! They try to “convince” the man to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you…

YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever.

You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.

Think about it.

If a man doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being “reasonable” with him?

But we all do it.

Men are the worst at this by the way.

They’re always complimenting women who don’t like them and buying them gifts.

Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man.

She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn’t change the way she FEELS about him.

When a man just isn’t interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.

Bad idea. Another one that will never work.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman…

And I don’t mean just sex.

I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you’re out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you.

And if you don’t know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won’t help!

If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you’ll probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.

I know, you don’t like to make yourself look weak or helpless. We don’t like to ask for help.

Hey, I’ve been there myself.

Let me tell you a little about me.

Over the last few years it’s been hard to watch the women around me (even those I dated) struggle to understand the men they were attracted to or dating.

It frustrated the hell out of me and I made the decision to do whatever it took to help the women I knew learn how to be successful with men and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and doing all kinds of crazy things to learn the real-world truth about men and women, I finally figured things out for myself.

I’ve read hundreds of books on psychology, human behavior, dating/relationship advice for men and women, love, attraction, communication, and more. The list goes on.

I can now approach just about any situation with dating and feel confident and understand everything that’s going on in an interaction.

Best of all, I’ve been able to share my knowledge and help women become more successful with men and dating.

It’s been a very rewarding experience, and it’s how I became fascinated with the female perspective in the dating world.

I’ve helped women get rid of that sick, insecure feeling… the one you get when you’re lonely, you’ve been hurt or lied to, or when a man you have feelings for says “he’s not ready”.

You don’t have to be afraid you might wind up being lied to, cheated on or that you’ll end up alone.

I Now Have A FREE Email Newsletter…

But the really great news is… after several years, helping woman after woman, I now publish a free email newsletter that teaches any woman how to DRAMATICALLY increase her success with men and dating.

I’d like to invite you to sign up.

It’s free, there’s no obligation, I’ll never share you’re email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself with no hassles. (And no, I’ll never pull any of those tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junkmail when you try to remove yourself.)

Of course, it even get’s better than that…

In addition to my free email newsletter, I also have an amazing downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES.

It’s JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming your fears, meeting men, great ideas around first dates, cheat-proofing your relationships, and how to take things to a closer “emotional” and “physical”
level smoothly and easily.

To sign up for my free newsletter AND download your copy of this online eBook, just go here:

Free Dating Advice Newsletter And Download eBook

Oh, I Almost Forgot…

In this day and age of “instant gratification”, I realize this might just sound like another late-night info-mercial promising to make you wealthy and retired by next week.

Well, that’s not the case.

I’ve spent a lot of time, effort, and energy studying, observing and understanding this area of life.

I wanted to design and create a book that ANY woman could easily understand.

Something you could start using IMMEDIATELY to meet, attract, date, and get close with a great guy.

I want to help you create an amazing relationship with the right man… without having to deal with all the wrong men, be “manipulated” or experience the pain and loss I’ve helped other women avoid.

I now believe that ANY woman can be more successful with men and dating, and I get emails every day with success stories from women. They’ve taken what they’ve learned and found great guys and are growing meaningful relationships.

I know, I know… a book that can teach a regular girl how to be more successful in the dating world?

No way.

Well believe me, this will DRAMATICALLY increase your success, comfort and happiness when it comes to men, dating and relationships… I absolutely guarantee it 100%.

If you’d like to take your success with men and dating to the next level, and find how to create the foundation for the relationship that you’ve always wanted, then go here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Tons of women do this one thing.

And it must leave them feeling awful…

I wonder if you do it too?

I’m talking about women who hide their true feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire for a closer relationship and for love.

Ever felt this way?

It’s happens when you won’t communicate directly with a man about your feelings because you think you’ll “scare him away”.

Unfortunately, you’re right… it could scare him away.

The way you talk to a man about a relationship turns out to be THE BIGGEST MISTAKE ANY WOMAN CAN MAKE WITH A MAN.

I’ll come back to this giant mistake in just a quick second…

First, I’d like to talk about what I’ve seen in the dating world as a guy and share a FASCINATING story with you.

I’ve had women communicate their feelings with me in all sorts of different ways from joy to anger to frustration, and I know what each one does to a man.

(and in a larger context, what communicating this way does to any person in general - man or woman)

There’s a pattern to the dating experiences that I’d like to share.

THE STORY GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS…

(let’s pretend I’m the man in this story and you’re the woman)

You and I meet. We both like each other. (lucky me!)

Feelings develop for us both on several levels. (physically, emotionally, socially)

You try to be “patient” and not express too many feelings and what you want to play it cool.

We have a great “connection”, but we never talk about what we want in our future around dating, a relationship or marriage.

Time goes by and things are great for us.

Eventually, you begin to see that you’re not getting what you want from me in the relationship.

You want more, but you’re scared of talking to me about it because you don’t know where I’m at.

You’re scared because I’ve talked to you about all the bad experiences I’ve had with women in the past.

And sometimes I even make negative remarks about women and their emotions.

You don’t want to ruin the good things we have going and rock the boat, but in the back of your mind you know that you’ll want to deal with the negative emotions that are slowly but surely building in your mind.

Then as I start to see us growing closer, I begin to use my past issues to tell you that I’m not looking for much more than what we have right now.

So you don’t say anything to me directly to communicate what’s going on for you and your feelings.

And of course, being a normal guy, I don’t say anything either. (Of course, I’m a man!)

You become frustrated and confused that I’m not acting how I used to act.

Things begin to change with the way I treat you.

I don’t pay as much attention to you anymore.

I don’t surprise you or bring you flowers anymore.

I’m tired everyday after work and just want to watch tv when I get home.

I call you less frequently.

I don’t initiate sex as much anymore.

You even consider that I could be seeing someone else.

And after a few months - I’ve become distant.

So what happens next?

You decide you’re not happy with where things are and it’s time to have a talk about where we’re at.

But you’re SCARED of expressing your feelings about what you want, so you let things build up inside you until you begin to let your frustrations with me show.

And to wrap the story up…

You make THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MAN…

You start a conversation about the relationship and then you “let me have it”!

(you get upset and lose your cool with me)

All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams that you’ve been holding inside away from me all pour out in one big emotional explosion…

This “Big Mistake” can take the form of arguing and yelling, but not exclusively.

Sometimes it’s just extreme intensity, perhaps tears.

It might include:

- Complaining about the current state of the relationship

- Talking about the things he does wrong with you

- Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing

- Becoming upset that he doesn’t feel how you’d like him to feel

- Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments

But it always creates a lot of emotional tension and “drama”. Especially in the guys mind.

This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if you want to get some positive result with him.

That tension that’s created stays with him, and he NEVER forgets it.

In his mind, he now thinks of you as “hysterical” and full of issues. His mind defines you by what he saw in your behavior, and it scares him.

Yep, I know it’s not fair, but it’s the man’s weird and twisted reality…

I’ve heard hundreds, maybe thousands, of men talk about this exact perception of a woman and how they fear being with a woman who they think will make this giant mistake.

Yeah, I know… it’s immature, selfish and not fair of the man, but it’s the reality of the situation that lots of women end up in with men.

So how do you avoid this….?

I’ll tell you how in THREE EASY STEPS.

Step 1) You Need To Understand What’s Going On Inside The Mind Of Your Man…

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man…

Women secretly believe that their connection with a man will “naturally” turn into something deeper without any communication taking place.

Kind of like it’s the unspoken truth about what’s going on.

Honestly… this isn’t how it works for us men.

If you’re “assuming” you have a relationship, and that he feels like you do, you’re wrong.

Men don’t assume that a connection, being together, spending quality time and all the rest means they’re in a committed relationship.

Some men do, but not most.

For a man to know he’s in a committed relationship, and understand the things YOU want in that relationship, YOU have to communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that’s right… You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.

Scary!

But I hear lots of women think that other women are just lucky to have found such a great guy.

And while there are some men who are more equipped and ready for a healthy situation with a woman, it’s NOT luck that women in great relationships have found a way to communicate with their guy.

That’s right, they’ve taken time to find the right information and to learn to integrate a certain way of communicating into their thinking and behavior.

It’s not easy, but there’s help.

Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You To Make “The Big Mistake”

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first. It’s basic human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification is an AMAZING thing to develop in your life. (in every part of your life!)

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to needs that are unmet.

So making “The Big Mistake” is really all about being driven by your unmet needs and desires and solely focusing on what YOU want the relationship to be, without honestly and critically considering the man’s perspective, his emotional state, his communication skills and where he’s coming from at the same time.

When you do this with a man, you are subconsciously telling him that you’re more interested in your feelings and what YOU want than you are in his feelings and what he wants.

And men can read and pick up on women who do this instantly.

I see a form of this “Big Mistake” communication all the time in business by the way.

Some business professionals are the worst at this self-absorbed “need” oriented communication.

Like when someone calls me who wants to get something from me or sell me something and they’re not very experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish agenda… and it instantly puts me on the defensive.

But if they’ve done their “homework” on me and what I’m looking for, and not what THEY WANT from me, when they talk it changes the whole situation the second they show me they’ve thought about what I want.

It’s very simple but extremely powerful.

So let’s take this concept directly back to communicating with men.

It might sound cliche’, but you’ve got to learn to listen and understand where’s he’s at and where’s he’s coming from.

This cliche’ is a around for a reason.

It works.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps towards creating the relationship you dream about.

But you’ve got to be careful to not become the woman who gives him EVERYTHING and gets walked on.

Use your common sense and intuition to safeguard yourself - I know that your female perceptive abilities aren’t used nearly enough, so put these strong tools to good use.

Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake

Let me give you a vital piece of information when dealing with men…

Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying the things that are “obvious” to women in dating and relationships.

I would know. It’s taken me ten years to begin to understand these things for myself - and I spend a LOT of time thinking about it.

Sorry though, I’m “spoken for”… (Oh Please, get over yourself Christian!!)

Ok, enough self-indulgent humor, back to you.

So we know men are AWFUL at initiating and participating in conversations about deep emotions and relationships.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it’s almost always up to you to make this communication happen.

It’s important to remember to approach the entire conversation from the perspective of talking about what you want AND what he wants.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his feelings and needs a priority in this conversation, and always consider what he wants, I promise he will LOVE YOU for it!

There’s no rule that says you can’t consider another persons opinions and feelings first in order to get what you want.

In fact, a key goal in negotiating is to let the other person talk first.

When you get to listen first, you ALWAYS have the advantage. You know exactly what the other person wants… and knowledge is influence and power.

I’m not saying you need to take on hard-core negotiating here with a man, but some of the same rules and principles about people and psychology apply.

When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening first, he will be 10,000 times more receptive to what you have to say and what you want once you bring it up than if you approach him from a place of feeling hurt, communicate need and projecting fear and anxiety.

Try this instead.

Ask a positive question or give a positive statement such as, “Honey, I was thinking today that I was happy to be with you.”

It might sound submissive, corny or difficult to say to someone you’re having a tough time with, but think about it…

If you’re going through all the trouble to worry so much about the future with this person, this is already what you’re thinking.

You might want to check out what could be the world’s best collection of ideas, strategies, insights and research on the subject of how to avoid the Big Mistakes, and other big mistakes in my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

It’s full off specific ways to communicate with a man that will instantly amplify the attraction he feels for you and help move things quickly and smoothly from “casual” to “committed” in no time flat.

I’ve spent the better part of the last year making sure my ebook will give you REAL WORLD ANSWERS and solutions to the things you’re dealing with when it comes to men.

Go check it out right now:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Want to learn something about men that most women will never know?

Ok, then check this out…

What’s the best way to get a man to the right “emotional place” where he’s open to you both falling for each other and wanting to spend the future together?

Well, I’m about to share a SECRET with you about doing exactly this.

Did you know that there’s ONE SIMPLE THING you can do with a man to help move things from that first meeting or the “casual dating” stage
to a happy, healthy, committed relationship?

It has to do with something surprising and unexpected.

I’ve spent years studying the complex process that leads up to and helps create a committed relationship between a man and a woman.

And there’s one thing I always come back to as one of the most important ideas because I hear about it everyday from women I know or who
email me:

When it comes to men and dating, moving from casual to committed can be the most emotionally difficult and “dangerous” stage for a woman.

It’s where all the worst things can happen.

It’s where all the RISK is.

It’s what can hurt the most.

And of course, it’s where all the long term “rewards” are.

Funny how dangers can be gifts as well…

Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about.

There’s one simple idea or “strategy” I’m going to share with you that is the single most powerful and effective way to help you press FAST FORWARD and help you get to a great “long-term” place in your love-life.

And by “long-term” I mean long term rewards both personally and with men.

Both are important.

The problem is, you might not see how or why the strategy will work for you when you hear it.

Actually, I bet that you’ll refuse to even believe that it’s something that could ever work for you. That it’s too simple to really guide you
on a good path.

But, I know that if you suspend your disbelief, that the strategy will help you move forward to a new place in your love-life.

A place where you’ll feel much more comfortable and “in control” of where your heart ends up.

(I don’t mean the control freak kind of “in control” here - I’m talking about making CONSCIOUS smart choices that lead to great situations instead of blind ambition that leads to heartache)

Plus, as an added benefit, this strategy will lead you to “naturally” avoid the mess of the pain and mistakes tons of other women make when it comes to critical transition stages with men and relationships.

So here we go…

THE “I’LL TEACH HIM TO LOVE ME” LOVE STRATEGY

Let me ask you an important question…

Have you ever noticed yourself trying to “teach” a man how to love, love you, or how to have a “real” relationship?

I know, it sounds ridiculous that you’d need to teach someone how to love, but I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about as a woman.

So let’s get the question out there in the open so we can talk about it:

Do men not know how to love a woman?

Here’s your tough-love for the day…

The short answer is NO.

Most men DON’T KNOW HOW to love a woman the way they want to be loved.

Which brings me to another fascinating question that I like to ask women:

How is a man supposed to know how to love you, if he doesn’t already know on his own?

The easy answer is - you have to show him how to love you and how you want to be treated.

But if you’re like most women, (and men!) then you don’t want to have to spell it out for the other person.

Not much romance here, right?

And for some funny weird deep psychological reason it doesn’t feel the same if you do spell out what you want and get it.

It’s like the magic is gone, right?

I’ve felt this one myself.

I get it.

So how do you go about showing a man how to love you if he doesn’t “get it” on his own, without making it so that you don’t enjoy the process yourself?

Here’s the “usual” approach I see women take.

They end up trying to teach men who don’t get it the absolute basics about loving, being a good boyfriend and about how to have a good relationship.

Kind of like a boyfriend improvement program.

Know what I’m talking about?

Ever been a boyfriend boot camp instructor?

And does it work?

Think about the whole situation for a second.

There’s a great story I like to tell around this exact thing…

It’s about a man and a woman.

(Tell me if it sounds at all familiar)

There’s this guy that a woman is attracted to and has a great connection with.

She’s been seeing him for a little while now and they’ve both grown pretty close.

Things have even progressed in the relationship, but only through that “casually starting to get serious” thing.

You know… where it feels so comfortable and natural to be with a man that you don’t question ANYTHING as things seem to all just fall into place.

But there’s something else going on for the woman here…

Something that she hasn’t mentioned, but it’s bugging her and lurking in the back of her mind.

The truth is that she’s never really had “the talk” or anything like it with her guy, so she’s NOT EXACTLY SURE where things are at and what everything means.

But she’s already opened herself up and shared so much that she’s “past that point of no return” emotionally.

And as her feelings are growing she’s starting to feel something awful inside-

She’s starting to feel VULNERABLE and UNCERTAIN.

Not knowing exactly what’s happening in the guy’s mind, and him not talking or expressing his feelings is seriously starting to drive her CRAZY.

But in the face of all this emotional uncertainty, she’s trying her best to “play it cool”.

Then finally, it happens…

She realizes that things aren’t on the “up-and-up” the way they seemed at first, and her unconscious fears start to take over.

That easy and ever-present attraction, magnetism and connection isn’t there like it used to be.

In fact, the guy is starting to withdraw and she picks up on all kinds of weird feelings and behaviors that she didn’t see in him before when things were fun, easy and “new” together.

And now she’s not sure what to do or how to get things back to how they used to be.

So she comes up with an idea-

She wants to be the one that leads him to understand that they DESERVE BETTER, and that they can have a beautiful love-life together if
he listens to her, chooses her and commits to making it work.

So she thinks that if she could just have the chance to really TELL HIM how she FEELS ABOUT HIM that he’d see the light, understand where things
are going wrong, and he’d come running into her arms.

Then she’d be able to teach him how to give and receive love, and give him everything he’s always wanted in a woman and they’d be happy and
in love.

End of story.

So tell me, how do you think the story turned out for the woman?

Did her man see the light?

Was she able to teach him?

Did they live happily ever after?

I want you to think about it, because I can almost guarantee that you recognized something about yourself in this story.

I did, and I’m not even a woman. It’s just that these are pretty universal experiences when it comes to how we behave as humans around the psychology of dating and relationships.

So here’s some quick homework that I know will do you good.

Spend a few minutes thinking through the situation and the “psychology” of it all.

Think the story through for a minute and how it applies to your life.

Good, now let’s talk about it…

UNDERSTANDING “MALE PSYCHOLOGY” AND WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF USING THE “I’LL TEACH HIM TO LOVE ME” LOVE STRATEGY…

The reason I know about the situation of telling someone how you feel and getting them to “see the light” and come running to you so well is that I’ve LIVED IT several times in my life.

In my case, the roles were reversed and I did this hopeless thing with several women I dated in the past.

And looking back, as bizarre as it seems, I only ended up doing this and acting this way with the women who weren’t really the right ones for me
when I looked at the reality of it all.

It’s kind of a freak-show really…

Because of the intense feelings I was having and the “drama” of it all, I was wrapped up in these women and how they lived their lives, even
though what was going on and what I was getting from them and the situation wasn’t anything that great at all.

In fact, it was a waste of my time and energy.

The truth was that I was involved in all kinds of behavior and situation that weren’t really about me and what I wanted in my life.

Almost everything that was happening was about getting things that really weren’t that important to ME in the long run.

And now, in hindsight, it’s crystal clear what was going on-

The real trouble in these situations was that the ATTRACTION and the CONNECTION I was feeling did something crazy to me…

The ATTRACTION and CONNECTION I was feeling seriously distorted my focus and distracted me from what I was really after and what I valued.

Now that I’ve been there, I recognize women doing this same thing all the time with men.

Because of what’s going on with the man in their lives, they’ll try all kinds of unbelievable things they would normally never do, and put
themselves in awful, painful and uncomfortable situations, just to try and keep getting back to the good FEELINGS they want to hold on to that they
had in the past.

They want to get back to the way they felt when things were great, and don’t think twice about the trade off they’re making to get there just for
a short moment.

What’s going on here?

It’s simple really.

We’re seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.

In these kinds of situations, women (and men) just want to get back to the ATTRACTION and CONNECTION that they experienced that made them feel so good at the time.

And there’s something else going on here too.

It’s a fascinating human psychological response mechanism…

When someone is drifting away from us or acting distant, our first reaction is to tighten our grip and pull them towards us even harder.

And we do this on a largely unconscious level without even realizing that we’re doing it.

But to get the RESULTS that you want, (getting closer) it usually takes doing something completely COUNTERINTUITIVE.

Lots of women try and take the common-sense approach with men of trying to address the issues, fears and shortcomings that the guy has head on
and talk it through.

This makes complete SENSE, but it rarely WORKS the way we want it to.

On the other hand, there’s something I see that most of the successful women I’ve met do to attract great men and build fantastic relationships in their lives.

And it’s obvious that women who end up with great guys and lead happy love-lives really “get” this…

There’s two ways you can live and function with a man in your life (and as your own person if you want to go there):

Choice #1: You can have an EXTERNAL frame or reference for your needs, goals, fulfillment, emotions and direction.

Here you focus on what other people are thinking and doing, and you most often follow the path that other people lay out before you as your own.

Choice #2: You can have an INTERNAL frame of reference for all the most important things in your life.

Here it’s YOU who decides what you want, how you’re going to feel, what you’re going to accept and what you’re not going to put up with from other people.

Here you’re going in the direction of what you want and what you’re after, and other people are free to join you on your way.

So what’s your frame of reference?

Internal or external?

After talking to women and observing and getting to know a bit about their “inner psychology”, I’ve found some common links.

The women that I see are happiest and most often end up finding healthy, mature relationships with men are women that use their own internal
frame of reference as their “emotional compass”.

In other words, they have a direction and a path that they’re on, and NO MATTER WHAT a man is doing, they keep moving in the direction of what they want.

But the most important part here isn’t the most obvious.

Because these women have their own “compass”, they DON’T do something lots of other women do…

They never let a man’s emotional problems, issues or shortcomings become THEIR responsibility and burden.

It doesn’t become their problem in life that they’re trying to solve.

They realize the boundaries of the situation, and that it’s ONLY the man’s choice to figure it out for himself or not.

So what should a woman do instead?

Well, here’s the secret strategy I was talking about earlier…

STOP TRYING.

If you stop trying to make things the way you want them to be with a man, and start doing the things that lead him with your own “compass”
that I’ll show you, you’ll “naturally” start creating the situations you want with men.

I know, it might sound like a lot of fluff.

But that’s because the “meat” of this strategy isn’t the strategy itself.

It’s in the application of it in your life.

It’s a process…

So here’s more about what that process looks like-

If you want to figure out how to go from casual to committed with a man, and there’s problems along the way or resistance from him- DON’T “TRY” to teach him how.

Why?

Because you’ll fight an uphill battle all the way.

The kind where you fall into the unavoidable psychological and emotional trap of worrying about the man’s mindset more than acting on what’s good
for YOU.

And now you’re back to that external frame of reference.

There’s a better way…

Instead, learn to LEAD a man to think and see things from YOUR frame of reference.

Have him see how you want your love-life to be and what your reality is.

And the less you try to make this happen, the more it will naturally start to take shape.

Bu the ONLY way to do this is to start thinking and living with an INTERNAL frame of reference for yourself.

And it’s tougher than it sounds.

But this psychological “shift” will have a MAJOR impact on your life and the people around you.

Especially with men.

I’ve literally seen men go from flaky and reluctant with the woman in their lives to attentive and desiring of a more committed and serious relationship almost entirely because the woman made the critical shift to her own frame of reference with her thinking and behavior.

And instead of waiting for a man to give them the things that they wanted the way they used to, these women changed the situation by changing
themselves.

They stopped waiting for the guy who wasn’t on the same page with them to start giving them what they thought they wanted.

And it’s at this point that something powerful happens in the process-

The woman begins to see that she’s the one teaching the man how to think about her as a woman and as a lover or girlfriend.

Read that again. It’s important.

You, and only you, are the one who teaches a man how to treat you.

So let me be absolutely clear…

Worrying about why a man acts the way he does and trying to “fix” anything about him is a WASTE OF TIME.

Yes, it means you’re being a good person if you’re there for a man when he needs you.

And NO, it doesn’t mean you’re being a good person if he’s making you frustrated and unhappy with your life and you wish he was different -
so you try to change him so he can lead a better life with you.

You see the difference.

WHAT TO DO… EXACTLY

So let’s say you “settle” in the short-run for a flaky situation with a guy that you honestly don’t feel that good about because he’s unavailable
or just doesn’t know how to have a loving relationship the way you know how.

In this situation, even if you’re trying to change things and turn the situation around for the better, you’re really teaching a man to treat
you like a flaky fling.

If you’re living with flakiness and “unavailable” behavior from a man, flakiness and unavailable behavior is exactly what you’re going to get now and in the future.

So here’s where it gets interesting…

Remember how I said that you’re the one who teaches a man how to treat you?

The strange part is that you can’t teach a man how to treat you just by “trying harder”.

But tons of women try through convincing or pleading behaviors.

Here’s the deal.

If you want to teach a man, the only way to do it is by LEADING him.

And to lead a man, you’ve got to have your own internal frame of reference.

Once you’re seeing and acting in ways that mean you’re conscious and aware of what you want…

And that you start to see where your frame or reference ends and a man’s begins (this is called AWARENESS by the way), here’s what magically
starts to happen…

All kinds of things will start to happen for you and fall into place.

You’ll “naturally” become better at communicating what you want with a man and leading him towards it.

And you’ll do it Without having to go down the road of trying to change him or convince him to do anything “for you”.

Then he’ll start to choose to do things on his own because he sees you differently and is led by your “compass”.

There’s a big emotional element in here too but we don’t have time to get into that one.

But here’s the best part…

Without all these counterproductive things going on (convincing, etc.), you’ll start to psychologically and emotionally LEAD the man you’re with down the path you want to be on.

Instead of what often happens where you end up following him down whatever uncertain or aimless direction he might be headed.

I rarely say this, but trust me on this one…

STOP TRYING.

This “strategy” might not sound so like magic on paper here, but in real-life it’s 1,000 times more effective at helping create the relationship you’re looking for than anything else that makes sense.

And once you’ve stopped trying so hard, start leading.

But there’s are a few vitally important keys to keep in mind and to know about when you start down this path.

Especially if you’re sure you’ve met a great guy and you want to keep things moving closer and closer.

There’s something I call the “Relationship Balance” that I talk about in depth in my ebook.

It’s the general model that I use to explain some of the psychological complexities of dating, attraction and relationships when it comes to men and commitment.

I use the “Relationship Balance” to spell out a detailed “how-to” of taking psychological leadership in your love-life.

And of course it also explains the common mistakes we talked about earlier that tons of women make, tells you in detail why they’ll NEVER work, and let’s you know what to do if you’ve made any of them…

So go to the link below to check out my eBook “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

Inside it, you’ll learn more about how you can use your “emotional compass” to lead a man into craving the kind of loving situation you’re looking for.

And best of all, I’ve made is so that you can check out “Catch Him And Keep Him” without having to pay anything.

Just go to the link below and you can try the eBook for 7 full days to decide if you like it and want to keep it.

If not, simply let me know and you won’t be charged for anything.

That’s how confident I am that you’ll love it and that you’ll get real-world value from it.

So stop stalling, you know you’re curious at least. And what do you have to lose?

You can download it and be reading it in just a few minutes.

Go here and check it out now:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

In the meantime, best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter