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This video is a good breakdown of Christian Carter’s new program “Natural and Lasting Attraction“.

Thankyou, for doing this interview Elina. What can you tell me readers about yourself?

I am a relationship expert and the author of over 20 books. I have struggled with commitment phobia all of my life, and finally realized that I had it when my boyfriend of seven years and I broke up. We had never talked, hinted, or even alluded to moving in or getting married in seven long years. At the time, I thought it was great. But looking back, I realized that it was really strange. And yes, you can be commitment phobic and be in long-term relationships, see the “Long-Distance Runner” type. Anyway, after we broke up I became a “ serial dater/player” going from one short lived relationship to the next. I realized then that I had nothing to show for myself and that my fear of commitment was becoming a major problem.

Looking back at my life, I realized that I had never really thought about making a commitment to someone. Sure, the concept was always lodged somewhere in the back of my brain, but it was more like a random after thought than a solid idea. It took many years of introspection, looking at my personal history, and watching myself sabotage every relationship to finally realize that as much as I wanted stability and comfort, I was equally if not more petrified of making a permanent commitment.

What convinced you to right a book on “commit phobic” women?

When I first started think about this problem, I could have easily dismissed my fears as a simple case of relationship ADD or not having met my “soul mate” (whatever that means). But I thought there was more to it. I couldn’t help but suspect that there were many other women who experienced the same ambivalence as I did; the conflict of wanting to be with someone but not at the expense of their personal freedom. I was desperate to find out what was at the bottom of these issues, and that’s when I set off to find more information in order to help myself and the many other women struggling with this fear.

There is no such thing as the “Accidental Single.” If a woman thinks she is a victim in the game of love, hopelessly unlucky, or that men are the cause of all her relationship problems, she is usually mistaken. All of us choose our love lives, whether we know it or not.

There are numerous ways in which we avoid commitment – whether we do things halfway, reject people we care about, conceal our true feelings, or keep one foot out the door at all times to protect ourselves. Looking back on my life, I realize that the fear of seeing something through and committing myself wholeheartedly was more about my fear of failure than anything else; because if I didn’t put all of myself into something then I couldn’t be blamed for when it didn’t work out. And that, of course, was a sure fire guarantee that nothing ever did.

What are the top signs women are commitment phobic?

Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.

• You have a habit of dating “unavailable” men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).
• You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
• You go from one short-lived relationship to the next.
• You back out of plans at the last minute and/or have trouble setting a time for dates.
• You often stay in relationships that are rocky and offer little to no hope of commitment.
• You consider you married friends’ relationships boring and feel that many of them have settled.
• You tend to feel “smothered” in a relationship.
• You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances, at the expense of single romantic relationships.
• You have a lot of relationship trauma in your past.
• You have a habit of avoiding conversations about marriage and the future with the people you date.
• You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependant.
• You have a tendency to pick fights and criticize your partners.
• You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.
• You prefer hook ups and friends with benefits scenarios to relationships.
• Your career is very important to you and you often choose work over relationships.
• You are constantly blowing “hot” and “cold” in your relationships.

Can you give an insight into one of the characters from your book? Perhaps ‘The Player’

When it comes to women, there isn’t just one type of commitment phobe.Commitment phobia can manifest itself in a variety of different ways, which is why I have organized the types into seven basic types — the Nit-Picker, Serial Dater, Tinkerbell, Free Sprit, Damsel in Distress, Player, and Long-Distance Runner.

Now for “The Players.” Commonly known as “man eaters,” players are always hungry for new sexual experiences, go through one guy after another, and collect notches on their Prada belts like sailors on bar stools. The player usually goes after a guy, sleeps with him, and then dismisses him before he’s had the chance to prove himself — or even cook breakfast for that matter. While some women can’t seem to separate love and sex, players are all too slick in this department and can neatly compartmentalize their urges like most women do their makeup drawers. Many of them are addicted to the highs of bedding a new man every night, and make no apologies for their behavior. While no one would begrudge the player a little bit of fun, one has to wonder what she is avoiding. Many players have difficulties relating to men, and feel that they can better control relationships that are based solely on sex. The question they have to ask themselves is: What’s really behind the tough, horny girl bravado? Are they really into sex or are they using it as a way to avoid commitment?

Why do most women end up “commitment phobes”?

There are many factors contributing to this – including delayed motherhood, increased financial independence, decrease in single stigma, and high rate of divorce have all made women a little gun shy. Also, our culture tells women to look outside themselves for relationship answers and point the finger at men. Instead, women need to take a long hard look at themselves and stop allowing fear to sabotage their love lives. Women have become afraid of the very thing they sometimes want most.

What is one of the solutions for these women?

Many women confuse “settling down” with “settling.” But there’s no such things as the Perfect Guy. So when they do find someone and he has flaws, they think that they’re settling when in fact they’re realizing that compromise is necessary in any relationship. Also, here is some other advice:

Don’t Always Trust Your Gut – It’s hard to discern between gut reaction and commitment anxiety.

Be Wary Of Commitment Saboteurs – Single friends often have a stake in keeping you single (who will they go out on the town with?) and even parents who might be scared of losing you might send signals that you shouldn’t commit. But your love life is not a free for all democracy. Make your own decisions.
Stop Overanalyzing – If you’re 80 percent certain, that may be as good as it gets.
Don’t Panic – Feeling cold feet or fear about commitment is very normal.

How are single women taking “Kiss and Run”?

The reaction has been extremely positive. Some women are really aware of their issues and are releived to find a book that validates their issues. Other women start in denial mode and then read the signs and discover they are commitment phobic. It’s amazing to see the thought process evolve. And guys have been really positive, too, since many have had to cope with their share of CP girlfriends and now have an explanation am for why things went wrong. It’s been really rewarding hearing all the positive feedback.

To order “Kiss and Run”, check out prices here.

For more dating advice for women, check out Christian Carter.

Have you found yourself spending time thinking about a man and a relationship you DON’T have lately?

Have you felt lonely missing the kind of love and relationship in your life that you know is possible?

If so…

You’re closer to having love, a great man, and a great relationship in your life than you might imagine.

I mean it. I’m not just saying that to try and make you feel better.

This new year could be the year that the one special man and relationship will come into your life forever… or that one special connection you’ve already found finally comes together.

BUT…

If you’re like lots of women, as much as you want and try for love, you’re NEVER going to have the relationship you want with the man you really want.

Why?

Not because you aren’t a good person.

Not because you don’t want it.

And not because you aren’t willing to give yourself and your love in order to get it in return.

No. You’re problem isn’t any of this.

In fact, you probably find yourself suffering from being too giving.

Your problem is that you’re secretly scared and frustrated that you don’t really know what it takes to bring the right man and the right relationship to you… and make it LAST.

So instead you try desperately to make the little love that you are receiving and experiencing into more than it is.

And your struggling and frustration in this is only making things worse.

Let me ask you…

Do you have the love and the relationship you really want in your life right now?

And did the last year bring you all the love and the joy you hoped it would?

Or are you still struggling with how to find and meet the right guy, how to connect with him… and how to build a real, loving, and lasting relationship?

Are you living your life to the fullest, and experiencing all the love and connection that’s possible?

Or have you spent most of the last year “spinning your wheels”, with little or nothing to show for all your blood, sweat, and tears?

I’m asking about all this for an important reason…

Because if you went through unnecessary pain and heartache over the last year because of how things have gone with men in your life…

I want to help make sure you NEVER have to suffer from the same mistakes and experience… the same awful feelings in your future.

You open to some help with that?

Good.

That’s why it’s time to look back and learn why it is that you have NOT had what you want in your love life yet.

A tremendous amount of learning and power comes from taking a look at what you’ve been doing and asking yourself honestly “Why isn’t what I’m doing working?”

Now…

It’s also time for you to really and truly start creating what it is YOU want.

As luck would have it, it just happens to be that time of the year when it’s good to take a step back and consider what’s actually important, and what’s happened over the last year of your life.

That’s why I want to ask you something.

And try to be as honest with yourself about this as you can be…

Did you figure out exactly how to start creating what it is you really want in your love life in the New Year?

Are you CONFIDENT in your ability to find and create the love you want in your life? And to keep it going?

Do you know what it takes to have a man in your life who is irresitibly ATTRACTED to you for the right reasons… and who feels that you are the kind of woman he could truly open up to, love, and share his life with?

And do you know how to work through the “bumps in the road” and the uncertainty that’s sure to come up in a real, intense, loving relationship?

Or are you just trying to fake it until a man comes along and loves you so much that he makes everything easy and OK? And he takes away that hidden fear and insecurity you have about whether you’ll ever be loved and have the kind of loving and secure relationship you want?

If there’s any time to sit back for a second, take stock of yourself and your life, and set a new path for love and success… it’s RIGHT NOW.

So let me help you now that you’re open to shedding your old skin and transforming your life with men, dating, and relationships.

Here are some of the tough questions you need to ask yourself if you’d like to create a better love life for yourself in the New Year…

I want you to really think about what I am asking here, and how an honest answer to each of these will help you identify what you can do to change your “luck” in love.

1) Are you selective in choosing the men you commit to and share yourself and your love with? And just as important, do the men in your life understand that you are selective?

2) Do you communicate your expectations effectively, and get what you want from the men in your life? Or at least get positive results when you communicate?

3) Have you stopped trying to “convince” a man to like you or love you… and to stay with you?

4) Are you the one who is in charge of your emotions, and how you communicate them? Instead of them being in charge of you?

5) Do you know how to communicate your value and confidence without words so that a man will sense and FEEL your worth just by being around you?

6) Do you know how to trigger a “deeper” level of ATTRACTION in a man that goes beyond physical desire and sparks intense emotions and a sense of bonding with you that lasts for more than a few hot nights?

Chances are, you answered NO to at least one of these questions… and that means you’re making a few critical mistakes that are proven to push men away and kill any kind of real ATTRACTION and “long-term interest” they might feel for you.

But don’t worry, that’s normal if you haven’t learned what it takes to have a great guy and a great relationship in your life that lasts.

The good news is, now you can easily start to identify the mistakes you’re making and, with a few quick and easy changes… start getting more love and fulfillemnt out of 2007 than you have ever before.

The only question now is…

Are you ready to make a commitment to yourself and to your happiness in love this year?

Because if you want to experience love and commitment with a man, you are going to have to make a commitment to creating your best self first.

And creating the woman you are inside that a man will be magnetically drawn to and find irresistible.

The best way I know of to help get you off to an amazing start and give you all the insights you’ll need into how men think and feel when it comes to women is HERE:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

If you’re ready to turn your luck around right now and make 2007 the year that changed your love life forever… then you need to go and download a free trial copy of my ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him”

It’s here:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

In it, I go into specific details about how to turn the “No” answers you had to the questions I asked above into resounding “Yeses”.

You’ll learn what is really going on inside a man’s head, simple tactics to get his attention and hold it… and how to approach all your relationship conversations in a way that will leave HIM wanting to be with you and stay with you in a long-term commitment.

If that’s what you want.

Unfortunately, most women never learn how to make a man feel so intensely ATTRACTED to them that they are the ones deciding how and when the relationship moves forward.

wouldn’t it feel great to have your CONFIDENCE back in this way… to where a man wasn’t the one calling the shots?

To make it even easier for you to start 2007 off on the right foot, you can go and download my ebook right now and be reading it in literally just a few minutes.

Read it, try it out for free for 7 days, and if you aren’t satisfied for any reason, you can keep it and not pay a dime. Just let me know and I won’t bill you.

No questions asked.

Your new love life and the amazing experiences you’ve been missing and hoping for are right in front of you… if you want to make them come true for you.

The next step is yours. And all you have to do is TRY by a few clicks of your mouse, and you could transform your love life FOREVER.

Don’t let this new year, and the love you could be sharing in your life pass you by because you didn’t take the time to learn what it takes to have what you want with a man.

You’ve got nothing to lose. And a lifetime of love and fulfillment to gain.

Go here now to read all the details and download my eBook free for a full week.

Bring love back into your life HERE:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

I wish you a love-filled New Year, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,

Christian Carter