Entries Tagged 'Understanding Men' ↓

Has a man ever said to you, “I love you, but I’m just not IN LOVE with you anymore. I’m sorry but it’s over”…

And then told you it’s because he just doesn’t “feel it” for you anymore?

Or how he just isn’t in the right place to go on in a relationship? “It’s not you, it’s me.”

It’s like all of a sudden the most special person in your life changed his mind about you and decided everything you have together was worth nothing to him.

How and why do men change their minds so quickly?

What often makes this situation worse is that a man will do most of the following: A) Show little or no signs of what he’s feeling, or that things have changed for him B) Avoid trying to talk with you about it or “work it out” C) Not give you any warning until he breaks up with you, so it completely blind-sides you D) Act as though for your relationship to end, it’s as simple as him letting you know that it’s over for him E) Not have any other “real” reason for his change of heart, other than he just doesn’t want a relationship, or he doesn’t “feel it” for you anymore and he wants to leave

Recognize any of these?

Unfortunately, if you’re like most women, you know all too well what I’m talking about here. And you know exactly how these things happen and feel. Let me be very direct with you about something…

If you’re one of the very small percentage of women who understand why this happens with men, and what to do about it… don’t worry about reading the rest of this post.

This post won’t be a good use of time for you if you’re a woman like this.

But…

If you AREN’T one of these few women, and you’ve not only been left by a man on a moment’s notice for reasons you could never understand, then I’m going to assume you’re still reading and with me because you’d like to learn a few things… Most importantly, I’m guessing you’d like to learn about-

-WHY men feel this way and what it really means

-WHAT you might have done to bring this about, if anything

-HOW to move past this unfortunately common problem with a man quickly, and avoid it in the future

Still with me?

Good. Because I’m going to help you start seeing things from a new perspective… and allow you to create a better situation for yourself now and in the future.

WHY MEN WHO SEEM TO LOVE YOU WILL SAY THEY AREN’T “IN LOVE” WITH YOU ANYMORE ]

If you’ve been in a relationship or two with a man that didn’t end well, then there’s something important I’m sure you’ve already learned- That men can be close to you, share love and affection… and then quickly turn away or leave all together for what seems like no good reason at all. As much as this seems to be completely bizarre, unexplainable, and ridiculous, it’s not. Let me shed some light on what’s going on here with men to save you a lot of time, heartache and frustration…

Men who get into relationships and commit with women DON’T change their minds suddenly about whether or not they want to be with a woman. Although it sure seems this way to a lot of women who’s relationships fall apart. The truth is, when a woman is caught COMPLETELY OFF-GUARD when she learns a man’s feelings and desire to be with her has changed… it’s often because she wasn’t at all AWARE of the way her own thinking and behavior was slowly but surely changing his feelings. Now, hearing this might piss you off a little. You might either feel pissed at me for saying this, or you might really feel pissed at your past relationship and the man in it for not appreciating you and abandoning you. I understand. But don’t let it keep you from LEARNING and GROWING. I get that men can do some pretty crappy things… and handle them in even crappier ways with you. But there’s a harsh reality to face… Unless you want to keep repeating the same mistakes in your life, and re-living the same painful situations with men…

You’re going to have to forget about what it is that a man might think or do that is beyond your control. And you’re going to have to, as much as it might seem scary or too much work for you, start focusing on what it is you CAN CONTROL- your own thinking and behavior.

Let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR about this- Why does a man fall “out of love” and leave a woman that he loves? Because he CHOOSES TO.

Because the EXPERIENCES he has with a woman tell him on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL that not being with her is what is best for him. It’s really that simple if you boil it all down. Of course, truly understanding and accepting this cold-hard fact is a whole different story. TONS of women literally spend their entire lives upset and frustrated with trying to figure out why men do the things they do, or feel the things they feel, only to end up back in the same place again and again - abandoned, loveless and alone.

And with all that pain and frustration, it makes sense that they’re never really able to STOP WORRYING so much about him and why things are happening the way they are… instead of starting to DO and SAY the things that will actually make him feel like being with them and staying with them on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL in the first place.

Starting to follow me here? Good.

Sometimes what seems impossibly complex and illogical to understand can, instead of being analyzed and explained, simply have a “shift” take place around it where things quickly change. Here’s something you need to know… One of the first things most women who experience a man leaving or “falling out of love” with them is to either: A) Quickly turn against the man and tell themselves he was never even CAPABLE of loving someone else the way they love him, and close themselves off B) Try to deny or dispute the fact that the man is now feeling the way he feels by trying to make sense of it and find out what they think is the “real reason”… and then argue against his feelings to try and change his mind C) Become incredibly upset and either explode in pain or anger to him… or they become sad and try to get him back by hoping he’ll see how devastated they are and take pity on them and take them back

Now, see anything interesting about men, about yourself, and about how communication works from reading these 3 responses?

Here’s a hint- What do all these have in common when it comes to addressing any of the “real problems” that might be going on, and why a man might want to leave? They are all 100% COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. In other words, they not only don’t help with men. Doing these things actually makes things a whole lot worse.

Translation - the man who was already feeling like he didn’t want to spend more time with you ends up feeling like being around you is worse than he thought before.

And you can almost hear the last nail being hammered into your relationship coffin. Yikes.

Over the last several years helping women become more happy and successful with men, dating and relationships… I’ve learned something from a question women ask me all the time.

Thousands of women have asked me something along the lines of- “I did this, and then this happened, and then he felt this and said this, and now things are bad or over. Can I fix this? Or is it too late?” Want to know the answer? It’s not too late. Unless you happened to murder the man you love.

Why isn’t it too late? Even though I don’t know every detail about every relationship? Well, to make a long story short, humans have an amazing ability to CHANGE and ADAPT. Which means…

If you know how to start interacting with a man in a way that starts to “engage” him in a positive way emotionally… and you know how to create feelings of ATTRACTION and DESIRE within him, then things can change for the better VERY QUICKLY. It also means, more importantly for you, that YOU TOO can learn, grow, and adapt. Even if you weren’t in the best place personally and emotionally in the past with a man… and some of the things you did pushed him away and made him feel anxious, unhappy, irritated, and generally UNATTRACTED and UNINTERESTED while he was around you… you too can do something about this. You can actually learn and grow and show him the person you’ve probably been all along inside, but he couldn’t see or enjoy or get close to because of all the uncertain and fearful emotions that were in the way. You can take steps to become your “best self”, and do it more quickly than most other women think is possible.

Most women end up not pushing men away because they want to… but because their intense desire to be close and connected and share love with a man somehow wraps them up in negative patterns in their own mind. The sure-fire way to avoid having the thinking and behavior that comes naturally to you in your relationship with a man get in your way is to actually get to the source of everything. Learning what to say, and when is great, but it’s not going to help you if the way you FEEL inside keeps working against you. If you ever find yourself going “off the deep end” emotionally with a man, and then regretting it and knowing that it not only made the situation worse… but was probably changing the way he saw you and judged you, then don’t sit back and let things slip away because you think there’s nothing you can do about it.

If you have the right outfit on, it might attract a man, or catch his interest. But you know that LOVE and a real relationship goes MUCH MUCH DEEPER.

If you know some of the right things to say, or you’re smart and intelligent, you can probably outsmart a man and figure out all these “issues” and call him on them.

But you know that just being able to spot these things IN HIM isn’t going to make your relationship work FOR HIM.

If you’d like to have a great guy in your life and have him treat you well… but somewhere in the back of your mind you don’t really feel great about yourself, the current state of your life and love life, and you’re negative and pessimistic because you don’t really BELIEVE that good things happen to you, then it’s going to affect you in a subtle but significant way when you are close with a man.

If you want to have a great relationship with a great guy… then you’re likely going to find and meet a guy and be able to tell him what kind of relationship you really want.

But if you don’t know how to get HIM interested in the kind of relationship you want… and you don’t know how to find out what it is that he really wants and values deep down inside, then it’s going to be impossible to ever really have something REAL and LASTING. Most women think that if they can get some understanding about the words, the actions, and the emotions that take place between them and a man that they can figure out how to make things work and love will come together.

The truth is that WORDS, ACTIONS, and EMOTIONS are really just the things that are on the SURFACE between a man and a woman. If you don’t know what’s going on beneath the surface, then you’re not going to be able to get to the “essence” of what’s really going on inside a man… or what’s going on inside yourself and how it must make a man feel when he’s with you.

There’s a deeper level.

A deeper level that can bring the AWARENESS and CONSCIOUSNESS you need about yourself, and about what’s going on inside a man.

Let me suggest something to you here…

Isn’t it possible that a man, just like you, can either feel attracted to you, or not feel attracted to you, because of that “something else” about you that he couldn’t put his finger on if you asked him? And above and beyond ATTRACTION… can’t a man, just like you, feel like you’re either the one person he wants to be with, or not? The answer here is YES… a man can feel this way.

And NO… there’s nothing you can possibly ever think of to say or do with a man that will change his mind or his feelings right then and there. But most women try to anyways.

If you’re ready to leave your old fears, your past failed relationships, and your old negative and destructive thought patterns behind… And you’ve made the decision to become your “best self” for the sake of your own happiness and your relationship with a man, then the good news is that I can help.

You don’t have to stand by and watch your own negative thoughts, feelings, and actions work against you in your love life.
If you haven’t read my eBook Catch Him & Keep Him, it’s a must read and the best place to get started with all my material. You can download a free trial copy to your computer in just a minute or two and be on your way to a better love life or relationship in no time.

Get your copy here: http://www.dating-advice-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim/

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Are you one of the many single women in the world who would make an AMAZING PARTNER for a man…. but can’t even find a decent date?

Do you ever feel like it’s impossible to understand what a man is thinking when it comes to “dating” and relationships?

Do you ever wish that you could just skip the “games” and the uncertainty that come with dating and get straight to something REAL?

If so, I want to share with you a few important ways to stop missing out on the love and connection you’re looking for… and start finding and creating what you want with a man.

There’s something I want to know about you first, though.

I wonder how often this has happened to you-

You meet a man you find attractive and you go out on a date…

The date goes better than you imagined, and you find him even more interesting and desirable than you thought you would.

You feel great around him and the conversation flows.

You both connect with each other and have all kinds of unbelievable things in common.

The more time you spend with him, the more you become excited about where things could go… and that you’ve finally met a man who’s fun, attractive AND who actually seems open and healthy as a person.

To top it off, the chemistry you share is AMAZING… and you share a steamy good-night kiss that proves it.

You can tell he’s feeling it too.

This is something more than just another date. It’s more than two people spending time together.

This is something special and real.

That’s why you can’t help yourself…

Before you even hear from him again, you’re telling your girlfriends all about him, what a great time you had, what it’s like when you’re together… and when you’re going to see each other next.

You’re VERY excited about your new man.

You imagine introducing him to your friends.

You even allow yourself a fantasy or two about all the fun things you’ll do together in the weeks to come and what your life together could be like.

You have a GREAT FEELING about this.

Best of all, he’s calling you, emailing, and he wants to see you all the time.

And he’s not only attractive and charming- it turns out he’s a really good person too.

After a few more dates you’re intimate with him because you feel so comfortable together. And the sex is AMAZING.

Things are going so great that you say to yourself,

“At last! A real man I truly connect with. I better not screw this up!”

But just then you realize how much he is starting to mean to you… and in the back of your mind it kind of freaks you out.

And it’s then that the dating and relationship nightmares from your past flash back in your mind…

You don’t want to feel the pain you felt in the past ever again… and you start to feel afraid that the same things could happen again.

Your mind races with fear and anxiety.

But to keep it together you put faith in the situation and in this man. You tell yourself that it’s different this time, and that he isn’t one of those other guys.

And to make sure things keep moving forward in the right direction, you start trying a little harder with him to get it right this time.

You do all kinds of nice things for him.

You make the effort to find out all about him, understand him, and help him out with the things that are going on for him in his life. You even start to do things like favors, errands, etc. just because you want him to know how much you care and to be close to him.

In the back of your mind you really hope he’ll recognize all the great things you’re doing for him, and how amazing you and your relationship can be.

With all you’re doing for him and your relationship, he’d be crazy not to want to be with you.

But after a few more dates, suddenly something starts to feel WRONG…

That same easy and free way of loving and being with each other suddenly feels different.

You realize how much you’re doing for him and all the ways you’re trying… and suddenly it hits you-

He isn’t making much of an effort to do anything for you or your relationship.

Not the way you are with him.

Then you realize that he’s been calling you less than he used to.

He doesn’t seem as excited to be with you and share his thoughts and feelings as he used to be at first.

He even stops making much in the way of plans, and starts doing a lot of other things he wasn’t doing before.

And since you don’t want to keep calling him, you wait for his call… hoping he’ll make weekend plans with you.

But Thursday comes, and then Friday, and still no call.

Your worst fears are starting to be realized. But you don’t want to over-react.

So even though you’re hurt and upset that he didn’t call you… you want to be with him, so you reluctantly call him.

You tell yourself there must be a good reason and that he’s been busy or something.

When you finally get a hold of him, he doesn’t even sound like the same guy.

He talks like he hardly knows you and you’ve never been close.

You try to be casual and ask him what he’s been doing, but you want to know what he’s been doing and why he hasn’t called you.

Then you find out he’s been going out and doing things with friends and other people.

Arggggh! He didn’t even invite you!

Wait a minute…

Aren’t you two an “item”? Shouldn’t you be doing something TOGETHER on weekends and in your free time?

You start feeling really FRUSTRATED and CONFUSED.

Maybe he doesn’t see what’s going on, so you decide to let him know how you feel and “call him on it.”

You tell him how upset you felt that he didn’t ask you to hang out with him and his friends.

And you ask him what’s going on, and why he’s being this way with you.

But he doesn’t respond the way you’d want or expect him too.

Instead of listening to you and your feelings… he gets irritated and ANGRY with you. As though you’re “hassling” him.

After some arguing and back and forth, he seems to shift gears in the conversation and says something that really makes your heart SINK.

Something that you had a gut FEELING you’d hear from him with this going on-

He tells you,

“Look… you’re great, but the truth is that I’m not ready or in the right place for any kind of ’serious’ relationship right now.”

And he goes on to tell you about all the things going on in his life that are taking up his time and energy… and that he doesn’t know how to settle down right now.

Ouch.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT!?

Why is he acting like you’re going to get in the way of the rest of his life?

Why did he ask you out in the first place, and spend all that time sharing himself, being with you, and connecting with you if he didn’t want a relationship all along?

Couldn’t he have told you that when you first met, instead of asking you out?

Why did he spend all that time with you and sleep with you if he didn’t want to be with you?

And how come he doesn’t recognize or appreciate all the things you bring to his life, and all the things that you do for him?

At this point, you feel incredibly hurt, frustrated, unappreciated, and misunderstood.

You even become intensely UPSET and ANGRY with him, and with yourself. How could you have misunderstood what was happening and not seen this coming!?

Why did he do all the things he did, and why did he SAY all those things that made you think HE WANTED a relationship with you?

Now, if you’ve experienced a situation like this with a man before… then I really feel for you.

It SUCKS.

In the story above, for lots of women the story doesn’t end there when the man says he’s not ready for anything serious.

Why?

Because they either don’t want to listen to the man… or they refuse to believe him.

And then what happens?

Some women actually go on to spend the next few weeks or maybe even MONTHS doing everything they can to try and win the guy back.

They think that if they can just get him to stop ignoring what it is that they share, and to not be afraid… that the guy will “come to his senses” and come back to them.

WRONG!

If you’ve ever been in this situation, or known a woman who was, here are a few of the most common responses:

A) Pretending you don’t want anything serious either and keep on sleeping with the man “casually” in hopes that things will grow from the “physical relationship”

B) Staying close to him by trying to become his “best friend” as you help him in his life and with his problems - all the while imagining the “payoff” of a real relationship for your good deeds once he recognizes how great you are

C) Trying to make him jealous by telling him you’re seeing other guys, even if you’re not. Or going out with other guys and doing things with them not because you like them, but because you want him to find out and want you back

D) Getting pissed off at him and telling him he’s dumb, immature, and acting like a little BOY… and that he’s just scared of a real relationship
and a commitment - and then trying to get him to have a relationship with you to “fix” himself

E) Trying to make him interested in you by complimenting him, doing nice things for him, taking up things he’s interested in to be around him… and being available to him at anytime he should show interest. This is kind of like trying to be his “best friend”, but different since it’s often still sexual.

Now, I’m guessing that you recognized at least one of these responses as you were reading through them.

As you read yours, you probably thought “Oh no, that was me!”… and now you see your behavior in a slightly different light.

In fact, maybe you see you’ve made a couple of these mistakes with men.

Here’s the thing…

None of these responses ever work with men.

Ever.

Feel free to ask your girlfriends and your guy friends if you don’t believe me.

Doing these things with a man is like instant MAN-REPELLENT.

But, strangely enough, even though these universally don’t get men to respond in any positive way… these are still the most common ways that women who don’t understand men and dating respond.

Which begs me to ask the question…

Why do so many women make these same mistakes in the first place? And why are these so universally common?

The short answer is this-

If a woman makes these kinds of mistakes with men, it’s NOT because she “learned” it by seeing it work for other women with other men.

Absolutely not.

It’s because she does WHAT MAKES SENSE to HER in the moment.

But guess what?

If you’ve spent enough time around men, then you’ve probably discovered that men DON’T MAKE MUCH SENSE.

See where I’m going here?

If you try and use what makes sense to YOU as a woman with a man… odds are you’re going to get very poor results.

Which means…

If you want to start getting better outcomes and results when it comes to men, and you want to be able to communicate with a man in a way that brings him closer…

Then you’re going to have to learn to STOP doing what makes “sense” to you…

And START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you.

In other words… the biggest challenge most women run into when it comes to “breaking through” to men and getting past the surface dating stuff and into a real relationship with a real man is not being able to see past their own MINDSET and the approach they’ve been using that hasn’t worked.

If you have the wrong mindset, and the thus the wrong approach when it comes to men and dating… then it practically guarantees you’re going to fail from the very beginning.

Seriously.

But if you can learn to understand how your mindset affects how you interpret and respond to a man… and you can start to get the kind of PERSPECTIVE or AWARENESS that will lead you to knowing what’s really going on with a man, and how to respond… then things are quickly and naturally going to fall into place for you.

By the way, if you’d like to learn from what I honestly think is one of the world’s best resources for quickly understanding how men think, discovering what attracts them, and shifting your mindset and perspective for easy and effortless success… I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.

You can download it below right now and be reading it in literally a few minutes.

Best of all, I’ll let you read the entire thing at zero cost before you decide if you’d want to purchase it.

Get all the details and go download it right here now:

http://www.dating-adivce-for-women.net/catchhimandkeephim

Now, here’s the other important question to ask now that we’ve identified some of the common mistakes women make with men…

WHY don’t these responses and ways of communicating and dealing with men work? Even though at the time responding this way makes absolute sense?

Because they all have one terrible thing in common…

They are all deadly forms of what I call APPROVAL SEEKING BEHAVIOR.

Ok, so what does that mean?

And why is it such a terrible thing when it comes to men, dating, attraction, and having a man see you as the kind of woman he really wants to be with?

Good question…

I’m going to try and make a long and complicated story very short here to show you what approval seeking behavior is, and why it’s such a GIANT MISTAKE with men…

See, men have all kinds of ways of thinking, seeing things, and behaviors that aren’t completely conscious - but are what I’ll call more BIOLOGICAL or INSTINCTUAL.

These are things that have been instilled in them over thousands and millions of years of “conditioning” during mating and courtship rituals with women.

When a man is looking for a woman, a part of his instinctual “wiring” unconsciously tells him to look for a woman who is healthy and “fit”.

This means that men are biologically wired to look for, and feel “attracted” to women who have the qualities and traits that indicate a high level of health and “fitness”.

But unfortunately, this “screening process” that’s going on inside a man’s mind is largely UNCONSCIOUS.

In other words, a man can’t and won’t just walk up to a woman and say,

“Hi, I’m looking for a mate. I’d like to know if you would make a good mate for me. Are you any of the following?

-Physically fit and healthy so you can conceive a healthy child, give birth, and raise him/her?

-”Genetically fit” so that you have a high likelihood to bear successful offspring by passing off great qualities like size, strength, intelligence, immunity, etc?

-Intelligent, “funny”, and resourceful so that you can not only be a mate that makes me feel attracted to you and want to conceive lots of children… but also help in this world of hard- to-come-by resources?

-Going to make a great mother who can care for our child and raise it while I’m out trying to “provide”?

Catch my drift?

This is part of the reason why so often a woman will ask a man why he’s feeling one way or another… or why he’s acting different or not interested in a relationship and he can’t explain it.

It’s just the way he FEELS.

Either he FEELS ATTRACTED. Or he doesn’t.

Of course, these “biological buttons” aren’t the only thing going on inside a man’s mind.

Men do have more CONSCIOUS processes for the way they choose a woman, and for the way they feel.

If trying to cram all this into your head and understand what it means, and how to respond to all these things while trying to have a real conversation with a man seems ridiculous and daunting to you - it should.

The reality is that you can’t sit and think to yourself… “Gee, I’d like him to think I’d make a good mate who could rear successful and healthy children, I’ll tell him about how healthy me and my family are.”

It just doesn’t work that way.

A man looks at much subtler “cues” about a woman that tell him what to think.

Some of these “cues” are:

-Physical Appearance (the obvious one): If you have a specific hip-to-waist ratio, without consciously “measuring” it, a man will see it and possibly feel a physical attraction

-Health: Things like how white the whites in your eyes are, your scent, and the tone and nature of your skin are all subtle indicators of a healthy
immune system. Men find white eyes, certain scents, and smooth skin attractive not because they know they indicate that a woman is healthy and will have a high likelihood of success for offspring, but because they FEEL ATTRACTED to these things for some reason.

-”Emotional Fitness”: If a woman has the kind of attitude and “vibe” about her that is fun to be around, stimulating, exciting, and positive and
consistent… then a man unconsciously will see her as a good long-term mate.

To find out all the things that truly interest and attract men… as well as the more subtle and complex things that make a man become EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED with a woman it could take a long long time to figure out.

It could take you literally years of research, of failed relationships, and of trying different things.

And even then you might not arrive at what is really going on with men, and how to make a relationship come together and work.

If you’re single after all these years, and you still don’t have the knowledge and the confidence that comes from truly knowing how to approach and handle men, dating, and relationships… then you know what I mean.

Luckily, I’ve done the work for you.

I’ve spent my time doing years of research, observation, interviews, etc. to get deep inside the mind of men… and I’ve also spent years talking with women about every question under the sun of how to create the love life they want with a man.

It also doesn’t hurt that I happen to be a man myself who has been through all kinds of situations in dating and relationships with women myself… and I have the perspective of how these things work for a man.

And I’m proud to say that I’ve been more successful in helping women in their love lives than I ever imagined was possible.

Now I want to share what I’ve learned with you… and help you the way I’ve helped literally thousands of other women.

If you’d like to learn how men think when it comes to the “dating process”… and how a man really thinks about a woman and getting involved in a real relationship with her, then I’ve got just what you need.

Women who don’t understand what the dating and COMMITMENT PROCESS is like inside a man’s mind seem to keep running into the same painful situations, frustrations, and traps with men.

The way a man grows close to a woman, the reasons why he chooses her over another woman, and when and why he decides to start sharing himself with her and growing a real and committed relationship is simply different than it is for most women.

If you don’t understand where a man is at, you don’t know how to read the signs, and most importantly… if you don’t know WHAT TO DO in each situation, then your odds of creating what you want with a man, and him wanting it with you are very slim.

One of the biggest “make it or break it” points for women in relationships with men is when you start to grow close and want to move from just a casual and unspoken thing into a deeper and more serious relationship.

If you’ve ever felt “stuck” in your love life because you didn’t know how to break through the “casual dating” stage with a man and move into a real and committed relationship, I can help.

If you know much about men, then you probably already know that the answer with a man in this situation is NOT to ask him for a commitment.

Lots of women try this and become frustrated and baffled when the man they thought they were close to completely pulls away from them and even tries to end the relationship all together.

If you want to grow your relationship with a man, the best way to move into a committed relationship isn’t to come up against his “EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE” to commitment when you bring it up.

The best relationships that women enjoy most, and that last the longest, are the ones where THE MAN is leading the woman into a committed relationship.

Where HE is asking HER to COMMIT TO HIM.

But for lots of women, things seem to get terribly turned around.

For the greatest chance at happiness and success with a man, and to be able to quickly and easily move from a casual situation to a real and committed relationship with a man, the answer is to learn:

1) How the commitment process works for him

2) How to make a man want to be with you and lead you in to a committed relationship

3) How to keep your relationship growing and healthy so that you both stay emotionally involved and fulfilled by the relationship

Most women NEVER learn these things, and as a result, they never have the kind of success in dating and relationships with men they really
want.

So don’t wait for your relationship to figure itself out if you’re in one.

Don’t wait for a man to figure it out and make your relationship work for you.

Don’t wait until you’re dating the right guy and in a great relationship to learn how to help it grow and make it work with him.

Make it happen now.

So don’t wait. Make the rest of your love life easier, more fun, and less frustrating and uncertain today by taking one simple step-

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him”.

You can download it below right now and be reading it in literally a few minutes.

Best of all, I’ll let you read the entire thing at zero cost before you decide if you’d want to purchase it.

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Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Here’s what your man is trying to tell you…

I hope you’re sitting down… because what I’m about to share with you will change how you view men, dating, and relationships.

I’m about to take you “behind the scenes” in the male mind.

I’m going to give you a perspective that most women never see or realize.

Unfortunately for most women, not seeing things the way I’m about to share with you keeps them trapped in patterns of misunderstanding and unfulfilling relationships with men.

If you pay careful attention to what I’m about to share with you, you’re going to start having more success with men right away, whether you’re single and looking for that right guy… or you’re in a relationship and you’d like to start connecting on a deeper level.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Have you ever heard a man say something like:

“I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”

Or how about this one-

“I want my freedom.”

If you’ve been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you’ve heard this before.

Men say this stuff all the time.

Do you know what a man “really” means when he says these things?

And do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man’s predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE?

If not, then it’s time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings… and start paying attention to what’s going on inside his heart and mind.

In the past, when I’d hear my friends, other men, and even myself say, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” I knew that there was something more to it than a just a man who didn’t want a relationship with a woman.

In fact, I found that most of the men who said this quickly ended up in relationships with OTHER WOMEN soon after.

Men I knew well would be telling women they had been dating or in a relationship with that they weren’t ready for all that came with a “real” relationship…

But what did they do as soon as they were single again?

They would start meeting new women, go on dates, and once they found a woman they liked and were very attracted to, they’d spend most of their time with this one woman.

And they would do something else…

They’d stop dating any other women they might have met and move into another relationship, even though they had just ended a relationship with another women they felt strongly for because they didn’t want a “serious relationship”.

It almost didn’t make sense when I first started to recognize this pattern happening other men around me were in.

But keep in mind, even though these things don’t always make sense to women, they make PERFECT sense to the men going through them.

Does this situation with men ever frustrate you or leave you feeling like men have NO CLUE what they’re doing?

Here’s the problem…

When a man says one of these things, he actually MEANS something that is different from what a woman would mean if she said the same words.

Let me explain.

If a woman says “I’m going to stay home and relax today”, she probably means that he’s going to stay home, make sure that her house and life is in order, catch up on chores and bills, and then maybe watch some shows on tv.

If a MAN says that he’s going to stay home and relax, he’s probably going to watch some sports, drink beer, look at pictures of women on the internet, and order take out food.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks beer, looks at pictures of women on the internet, and orders take out to relax, then contact me immediately at the email address below.

Ok, enough kidding around.

Back to our topic…

Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don’t mean what they SOUND like they mean.

So, the FIRST thing that you have to get through your head is that just because a man SAYS something to you, it doesn’t mean always mean what you THINK it means.

Catch my meaning?

THE BIG SECRET HE ISN’T TELLING YOU

There’s a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a woman, why they date, and what it means for them to have a relationship.

Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a great relationship with a man… and hoping that if they try hard enough to make him happy with them so he’ll stay… this little secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration.

The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman.

BUT… (and this is an important insight it might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to start to understand for yourself)

Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to.

And they’ll only end up emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.

In other words, if a man says, “I need to be alone right now”, what he REALLY means is:

I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I’m with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man.

The REALITY is that when a man says one of these “I want my freedom” statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won’t make it feel like “work” when he’s with her.

A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship… instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry, and “fix” things.

The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call ATTRACTION… and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don’t often like or know how to deal with that comes from “working” on a serious relationship.

For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of a good relationship.

Of couse, I’m not just talking about the common “short term” kind of attraction that’s mostly physical…

You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more than just this kind of thing to work and LAST.

I’m also talking about the more “long term” kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and understanding.

A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great both when he’s with her… AND when he’s alone.

In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time.

But most men either can’t describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don’t WANT to have to describe it to a woman, because they want a woman who already IS those things… without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, “Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn…” or would you want one that already KNEW how to protect and defend anytime, anywhere without having to “learn”?

Duh.

Well, the same goes with men.

They don’t WANT a woman they have to train.

The last thing a man wants to do, or thinks is possible, is to take a woman who DOESN’T “naturally” understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work.

If you don’t already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you “get” all these things, then no amount of “talking things through” or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.

WHAT IS A “COOL GIRL”?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of a “Cool Girl”.

You hear most men using the term, and some women.

Men everywhere, without ever having talked to each other, share a common idea about women and use the term “Cool Girl” universally.

In some places the actual words are different, but the idea is the same.

But what does it actually MEAN?

And is it important that men all have this common belief about women?

Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic.

At this point, I believe that a COOL GIRL is this “ideal” that men imagine when they’re saying “I want my freedom”.

They’re thinking of the COOL GIRL, and then they’re imagining themselves with a woman who is this way.

There are a lot of aspects to this COOL GIRL.

Here are a few that are important:

-Lack of Insecurities
-”Easygoing-ness”
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Independent
-Emotionally “balanced”

…and the list goes on.

It’s actually not easy to describe a COOL GIRL in a few sentences… but the truth is that a man can recognize one INSTANTLY.

For more on exactly what a COOL GIRL is, how they naturally communicate with men in a way that makes men think, “This is the kind of woman that I can see myself committing and staying with”…

Then check out my “Catch Him & Keep Him” eBook.

Not only does it describe how men think when it comes to dating and why they commit to and stay in relationships with women… but it shows you how to start interacting with men and create a deeper gut-level emotional attraction with a man IMMEDIATELY.

You can download it here and be reading it in just a minute:

http://www.dating-advice-for-women.com/catchhimandkeephim

THE MISTAKE MOST WOMEN MAKE

Now, there’s a common and often irreversible mistake that women make with men when they’re dating and in relationships.

Let me ask you…

If you wanted to get closer to a man, have him see you as a great person, develop a strong connection, and get him to “open up” with you, then it would makes sense to do and say the things that you know work to create more love and affection, right?

This is the first inclination most women have with men - to do the things that THEY think create love and connection.

What if a man did this with you?

What if he decided that you worked the way he did, and so he decided to come up to you and start talking about sex, sports, and quickly get close to you physically?

A man might quickly be drawn in by a woman who did these things (not for all the right reasons, of course), but that doesn’t mean he should be trying them with a woman if he wants any kind of success.

In other words, the things that work FOR YOU as a woman are NOT what work for a MAN.

Thinking this way couldn’t lead to worse results in dating situations and relationships.

But TONS of women use this tactic of what I call “Selfish Love”. They treat a man the way they would want to be treated if they were going to share love and connection with a man.

Another common mistake women make is taking something that a man SAYS that he wants and doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if “A little bit is good, then more must be better”.

For instance, a man SAYS to you that he likes women who are physical and affectionate”. So you start touching him all the time, grab his hand and hold it everywhere you go, and always stay right next to him.

Then what happens?

He leaves you for his ex-girlfriend after telling you he feels like you’re too “needy”.

Huh? What’s going on here?

This would be kind of like a woman saying, “My favorite food is chocolate” and a man thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it’s her favorite… or adding chocolate to every single dish he makes for her from now on… and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be OTHER FOOD.

Let me land the plane for you.

Men don’t MEAN what you THINK they mean when they talk about what they want and don’t want.

And if you take the things men say too literally, you’re going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN…

So let me “decode” what men “really” mean when they say common things.

Consider this your own personal “male language translator”. Refer to it often.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I don’t want a serious relationship right now.”

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I ONLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP with a woman who already has her act together, is attractive, healthy, independent, easy-going, confident, and who is emotionally in control of herself and her own life. When we’re together I want her to share her feelings and challenge and inspire me to keep her love and interest and be a great man… but I also want her to know how to do this without trying to change me or turning our relationship into MORE WORK and LESS FUN than I can have on my own.”

Does this make sense?

Again, he’s NOT imagining a picture of an overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is trying to get him to connect with her and sharing her feelings because she’s so worried about things “working out”.

Big difference.

WHEN A MAN SAYS…

“I want an indepedent woman.”

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a woman who doesn’t get upset about petty things and who knows how to keep her head when things get tough or confusing. But I also want her to be in touch with her feelings so that:

1) She doesn’t repress her emotions and end up more frustrated and resentful of me, and
2) When she’s alone and intimate with me, she’s open and “present”… and she’ll share her love and affection freely”

What a man is NOT doing is making a picture of a passive woman who’s entire mood and state of mind is dependent on what she thinks is the state of her relationship and what it means that a man did or said something.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

“I want a guy who’s a good communicator.”

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS…

“I want a guy who doesn’t talk all the time, because he knows how to let me know what’s on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand… not crudely and man-like.”

WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH A WOMAN

You might not see this right now, but for most men, there’s nothing more important than knowing that he makes a woman feel great when she’s with him.

Seriously.

Think “ego”.

If you think this truth about men through, you’ll start to have a shift in perspective and see something you’ve probably never seen before.

When a woman comes to a man and wants to talk about something she thinks is wrong in their relationship, often times a man gets upset not because he doesn’t want to listen to the woman or talk…

But because it’s difficult for him to come to terms with the idea that the woman could be unhappy with him.

A man thinks, “It makes me feel like less of a man since I don’t make her happy. If she’s unhappy, then I somewhere inside I must not be good enough.”

Imagine if a man was constantly expressing his feelings about your relationship to you that seemed disappointed and frustrated.

How would it make you feel?

Sure, as a woman you might think to yourself that you’d talk to him about it and try and make things better…

But the reality is that you’d start to have one of 2 things come into your mind either consciously or unconsciously:

1. Something really is wrong with YOU and the way you are in the relationship, and he’s trying to tell you

2. Something is wrong with HIM and how HE thinks and feels that has nothing to do with you, and it’s his own “bad thinking” about HIMSELF that’s making him obsessively unhappy

The reality is, either way, a whole lot MORE DISTANCE is created between you two.

Now, lots of women draw the conclusion that this means you should try and pretend things are ok when they’re not.

That when you’re not having the physical and emotional connection with a man you know is possible, that you can’t communicate how you feel with a man.

WRONG.

My point: If you want to learn how to connect with a man on a deeper level, then what you say isn’t the most IMPORTANT thing.

It’s how and when you say it.

I’ll tell you something -

Learning the secrets of communicating with a man and creating a deep level of Physical and “Emotional Attraction” can be very rewarding.

A lot of women know EXACTLY what it’s like to be in a relationship with a man who has NO INTENTION of committing to something more serious.

In other words, he’s not feeling that powerful gut-level ATTRACTION for you that makes all the fear and excuses for NOT being with you and building a great life and partnership go away without RESISTANCe.

Do you know how to make a man FEEL this way when he’s with you.

Or are you still trying to “CONVINCE” him with words and your own knowledge and “logic” that a close, loving, lasting relationship with him will make him and you happy together?

Well, let me tell you…

Just like all the other things that a man “says” that he wants and doesn’t want with a woman… that most women don’t ever “get”, being the woman a man is NATURALLY ATTRACTED to on a deep level is one of the BIG ONES.

This kind of attraction is THE thing that will make a man who “says” he doesn’t want a serious relationship beg a woman for a real commitment and a future together.

If you understand the secrets of how attraction works for a man, you will notice that men will start to behave VERY differently around you.

Your friend,

Christian Carter

I’d like to tell you a story…

It’s a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don’t be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very attracted to a particular man.

At first, he was just another attractive man… but the more she got to know him, the more she began to feel attracted to him… and the more time she spent with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for him.

But there was one problem.

As her emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, she also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because she couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same way towards her.

Sometimes he would talk to her and say things that led her to believe that they shared a special connection, but nothing ever progressed past the “friendship” stage.

There was an occasional glance, an occasional email or call from him… and a few times, he even opened up about something personal or emotional, and invited her “inside” for a little while.

But something was wrong with the picture.

He just wasn’t acting like a man who was “falling in love”. He was acting like a friend, but at times, even more distant than a friend would be.

And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes he would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes he would ignore her and close himself off.

The insecurity that she felt from all this, became a spiral that amplified itself… and the more insecure she became, the more afraid she grew of #8220;screwing things up” or “scaring him off”, by starting conversations or asking him if he was interested in her and why he didn’t ask her out.

Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time he seemed to want to spend with her.

After spending days and nights obsessing over this guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would feel the same way.

So she made a bold move.

She TOLD HIM how she felt.

She confessed her feelings and let him know that she wanted to be with him.

He responded by flirting with her and he spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed and held each other.

But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn’t call her and wasn’t really “available” to her.

This only confused the woman more.

She didn’t know how to take it…

Did it mean that he really loved her too, but that he was afraid of something?

Did it mean that he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?

Did it mean that he didn’t love her, and that he was trying to give her a hint?

Did it mean that she hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?

She finally decided that she couldn’t go on like this anymore… she had to be with him.

She had to make sure that he knew just how much she wanted to be with him… so she took a big step, bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter… again confessing her feelings.

And then, something unthinkable happened.

Either he didn’t reply at all… (Ouch!)

Or he replied and she connected with him on an emotional and physical level for a brief time, but then he backed away.

Then she called him a couple of times, the following week before reaching him.

He made an excuse about being very busy and said, “I’ll try to give you a call soon, I have to go”… and hung up… but she never got a call back.

Over the following months, the woman tried desperately to understand what went wrong… and what happened.

THE END…

OK, I’m back.

Now, wasn’t that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up writing romance novels…

Now, let’s talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

But I’m not talking about FICTION here.

I’m talking about a story that rings true for lots of women. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for some women?

Because lots of women have been there in one way or another… at one time or another… and many have been there OFTEN in their lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power, is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs… as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it brings back…

Stories and situations like this one, really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me, because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation, I think there is a solution.

It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of WOMEN DON’T GET.

That secret comes down to the reality that if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to confess her love, convince him to like her and court her, BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON’T WORK; they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a woman does to try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her.

They make him run.

All of those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the woman feeling them, to do things that make the man go away.

It sucks!

But it’s a strangely common dynamic, that also takes place inside dating situations and new relationships without women (or men) really being aware of it, and understanding what’s going on.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to you, that I’ll help you avoid this painful situation in your own future…

And maybe you can start to understand what’s going on a little better, if you think about what it’s like when a man you’re NOT attracted to, desperately wants your attention, affection and your time.

Have you ever had a guy pursue you?

As he’s trying to get your attention, approval and affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems to bug you more and make you want to get away.

Even if all he’s doing, is telling you great things about yourself and how he feels about you?

Strange and interesting…

Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction

I’m always fascinated by the idea that we humans don’t always understand the message that we’re communicating to others…

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we’re trying to say.

Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top sexy and wears way to much make-up?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t think that her appearance is communicating the message to men that she thinks it is”…?

Yeah, I have too.

Well, here’s the deal:

If you do something to “let a man know how you feel” … but he isn’t open to the situation at that time, or he isn’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to backfire.

It’s going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I like to call the “Instant Ewww”.

The “Instant Ewww” is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a man feels it, YOU’RE DONE.

It’s over.

It’s like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a man feels the “Instant Ewww”, he’ll start behaving differently.

In short, he’ll back off or even disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the “Instant Ewww”?

I got it from watching WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word “Ewww”, when describing how they felt about a guy that was “confessing his love”… and of course, these were guys that weren’t loved in return by the woman.

Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they’re not attracted to.

Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they create what is often an unconscious barrier in their mind, that closes off communication or contact with her.

And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what’s happening as any ATTRACTION and interest he might have felt, evaporates.

So what causes the “Instant Ewww”?

And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who was trying to be nice… a woman who was giving him attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?

Because if you think about it from HIS perspective, you’ll realize that the moment you do something to “confess”, you’ve created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, men know when they are getting some “special attention” from a woman.

And they usually know it from the beginning.

But now that you’ve started pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.

You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man and make him even more detached from his emotions.

Here’s the thing…

You can’t “make a man like you” or “change how he feels about you”, by doing nice things for him.

Doing “nice” things for a man who isn’t attracted to you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the “Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he’ll perhaps NEVER like you.

Men are the worst at this, by the way.

They make this mistake over and over again in life, because they’re doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They’re doing it, because they don’t have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and you want to make them like you more… and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand…

If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic way, and he doesn’t “feel it” for you, and you do something nice for him, because you want HIM to like you more, it will BACKFIRE… and he will not only NOT like you more, but he will most likely distance himself from you.

Women think that they need to communicate verbally when they like a man… as if that’s part of the necessary process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like him > Tell him you like him > He likes you

Well, remember… if you follow this pattern, yourself, with men who aren’t already ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to BACKFIRE.

If he’s not into you, then it goes like THIS:

He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you like him>He gets the “Instant Ewwws” and withdraws…

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer, is what to do if you’re in a situation where you like a particular guy, but you don’t know if he likes you back.

DON’T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.

Don’t buy him a big gift, do something nice to show him how much you think about him or write him a love letter…

Don’t send him a note to his work that says, “From your secret admirer”.

Don’t call him several times, without hearing from him.

And DON’T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.

If you want to know how he feels about you, do something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts instead of telling him you love him and hearing the crickets chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don’t get heavier than HIM. Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels… and if you don’t know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a man if he’s interested in you in a romantic way, or if you are “his type”, will actually DESTROY the chances that his attraction and interest in you will grow.

Really.

The SECOND answer, is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why men have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you’re doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what’s the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you’d never ask…

Well, I’ve written about attraction before and I’ll write about it again.

In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways to learn how to make man feel ATTRACTION for you.

But above and beyond the meeting and attracting men “stuff”, I also talk about how attraction, communication, psychology and emotions all play into the longer term “stuff” around dating, and creating a solid foundation for a future relationship.

In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to tell you the secrets and truths that lots of women will never know about.

The eBook is called “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

I’ve spent several years now, studying the ways that women (and men) who are “naturals”, communicate using their words, voice tone and body language.

The way they integrate all these, makes them MAGNETIC to be around. And you probably know what I’m talking about, if you know any women who seem “lucky in love”. Where everything involving men seems to come easily and effortlessly to them.

And I’ll tell you… it’s not magic.

You don’t have to be gorgeous or young.

And you don’t have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It’s a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman can learn it if she wants.

But you’re not likely to figure it out by “trial and error”. Many of the keys to making men feel ATTRACTION and want to be around you for the long-term aren’t “obvious”, at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense… and they’re the LAST thing you’d do in a particular situation, if you didn’t know the SECRETS.

For more about these secrets, go check out my eBook.

It’s jam-packed with insights, concepts, tips and secrets.

Go here to check it out:

Thanks and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Keep Themselves From Living The Love Life Of Their Dreams — And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them…

MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”

Do you know any women who want the man they’re dating to behave differently?

Of course you do.

And just like me, I’m sure you have friends who date guys who don’t have much going for them or who don’t treat them very well.

Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy’s shortcomings.

What’s going on here?

It’s actually very simple.

Women (and men) don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day.

Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn’t treat them very well.

Sometimes for months or years…

But why in the world would a woman do that!?

Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper “connection”.

Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the “wrong” guys.

How do I know?

Because I’ve seen it at least a hundred times…

And because I’ve been this guy in the past myself.

Thinking back on past dating and relationships I’ve had, I was selfish and didn’t offer much.

I’m amazed the women put up with me.

But they did…all the while hoping that I would somehow change.

The women I dated hoped I’d change.

The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the “potential” they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them.

The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever…

The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.

And more importantly, I wasn’t even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE.

But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking.

They believed that I could become someone else with them…. and that this would be easy for us both.

Talk about a losing battle.

It doesn’t make a lot of “logical” sense…

But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you’ll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.

MISTAKE #2: Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.

Lot’s of women don’t even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

But does the same apply for men?

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.

As a result, they often don’t understand non-verbal communication as well as women.

And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and “intuition”.

Women don’t seem to remember this about men.

So do men feel sexually attracted to women based just on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.

Looks just happen to be the most obvious way…

But looks are NOT the most powerful.

If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know.

But it’s not an accident.

You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY woman can learn how…

MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man’s attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.

Wrong.

Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want… EVER.

Don’t get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.

You don’t have to act like an “easy” woman for men to like you, and you certainly don’t have to play like he’s some gift to the Earth.

Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.

So if you think that making him more attracted to you means “playing to the man’s fantasies” from the start, think again.

You’ll never succeed by looking for a man’s approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.

MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they “feel” too early on.

Listen…

Attractive, single, successful men are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from women.

Most women don’t realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.

And guess what?

Attractive wen have usually dated a lot of women.

That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything…

It’s a woman who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates.

This signals to the man that you’re just like one of those “clingy” stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can’t control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.

Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax.

There’s a much better way…

MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.

Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”

3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.

That’s great news to women…

Men can’t help it!

You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man’s Character

People aren’t easy to figure out.

Especially men.

The last several years of my life I’ve spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people.

I’ve studied peoples behavior, “inner psychology” and more specifically how they think and act when they’re dating.

From what I’ve seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things.

But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for.

Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they’re first getting to know a man.

They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they’re open to something more serious.

Men are different.

Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockyness and other “indirect” displays of status.

VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he’s ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they’re at.

If you don’t know how to read through the signals men send, then you’ll get the wrong message.

Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.

You can avoid this pain if you learn to indentify a good man from a bad one.

MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I’ve seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled.

And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens.

But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Nothing says “Run!” to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.

And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren’t exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there.

Think, “controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!”

So let me be clear…

I think it’s important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it’s dating, a relationship, whatever.

But if a woman communicates that she’s looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her.

It doesn’t have to be spoken by the woman either…

If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless.

This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.

So what can you do as a woman?

You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more “natural” way, where he’ll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own.

This is the only way it really works for people - male or female.

Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.

But you have to know how to create this situation with a man… and it rarely happens by accident.

MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like… but he’s just not that interested or isn’t as serious?

Right! They try to “convince” the man to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you…

YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever.

You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.

Think about it.

If a man doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being “reasonable” with him?

But we all do it.

Men are the worst at this by the way.

They’re always complimenting women who don’t like them and buying them gifts.

Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man.

She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn’t change the way she FEELS about him.

When a man just isn’t interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.

Bad idea. Another one that will never work.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman…

And I don’t mean just sex.

I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you’re out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you.

And if you don’t know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won’t help!

If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you’ll probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.

I know, you don’t like to make yourself look weak or helpless. We don’t like to ask for help.

Hey, I’ve been there myself.

Let me tell you a little about me.

Over the last few years it’s been hard to watch the women around me (even those I dated) struggle to understand the men they were attracted to or dating.

It frustrated the hell out of me and I made the decision to do whatever it took to help the women I knew learn how to be successful with men and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and doing all kinds of crazy things to learn the real-world truth about men and women, I finally figured things out for myself.

I’ve read hundreds of books on psychology, human behavior, dating/relationship advice for men and women, love, attraction, communication, and more. The list goes on.

I can now approach just about any situation with dating and feel confident and understand everything that’s going on in an interaction.

Best of all, I’ve been able to share my knowledge and help women become more successful with men and dating.

It’s been a very rewarding experience, and it’s how I became fascinated with the female perspective in the dating world.

I’ve helped women get rid of that sick, insecure feeling… the one you get when you’re lonely, you’ve been hurt or lied to, or when a man you have feelings for says “he’s not ready”.

You don’t have to be afraid you might wind up being lied to, cheated on or that you’ll end up alone.

I Now Have A FREE Email Newsletter…

But the really great news is… after several years, helping woman after woman, I now publish a free email newsletter that teaches any woman how to DRAMATICALLY increase her success with men and dating.

I’d like to invite you to sign up.

It’s free, there’s no obligation, I’ll never share you’re email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself with no hassles. (And no, I’ll never pull any of those tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junkmail when you try to remove yourself.)

Of course, it even get’s better than that…

In addition to my free email newsletter, I also have an amazing downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES.

It’s JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming your fears, meeting men, great ideas around first dates, cheat-proofing your relationships, and how to take things to a closer “emotional” and “physical”
level smoothly and easily.

To sign up for my free newsletter AND download your copy of this online eBook, just go here:

Free Dating Advice Newsletter And Download eBook

Oh, I Almost Forgot…

In this day and age of “instant gratification”, I realize this might just sound like another late-night info-mercial promising to make you wealthy and retired by next week.

Well, that’s not the case.

I’ve spent a lot of time, effort, and energy studying, observing and understanding this area of life.

I wanted to design and create a book that ANY woman could easily understand.

Something you could start using IMMEDIATELY to meet, attract, date, and get close with a great guy.

I want to help you create an amazing relationship with the right man… without having to deal with all the wrong men, be “manipulated” or experience the pain and loss I’ve helped other women avoid.

I now believe that ANY woman can be more successful with men and dating, and I get emails every day with success stories from women. They’ve taken what they’ve learned and found great guys and are growing meaningful relationships.

I know, I know… a book that can teach a regular girl how to be more successful in the dating world?

No way.

Well believe me, this will DRAMATICALLY increase your success, comfort and happiness when it comes to men, dating and relationships… I absolutely guarantee it 100%.

If you’d like to take your success with men and dating to the next level, and find how to create the foundation for the relationship that you’ve always wanted, then go here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter